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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Dec 9, 2006.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old

    U.S.Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of

    the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request

    before they were beheaded.

    Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl

    full of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and

    returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die


    Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song

    "O Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had

    studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag

    Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now

    die peacefully.

    Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out

    my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.

    Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the


    The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and

    Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

    The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your

    final wish?"

    "Kick me in the butt," said the Marine.

    "What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

    "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt," insisted

    the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the


    The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm

    pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting

    confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed

    the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or

    fleeing for their lives.

    As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked

    him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask

    them to kick you first?"

    "What," replied the Marine, "and have you three A-holes report

    that I was the aggressor?