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Redneck Test

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Eric, Jan 25, 2013.

  1. John_NJ

    John_NJ

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    Jan 15, 2013
    NJ
    I think this country is far too hung up on who's a redneck, who's black, who's gay, who's a woman, ect. I personally would like to go back to the days when America was a "melting pot". That concept as all but died in our hyper partisan, P.C., world.

    By the way, I haven't really heard any good jokes lately so I enjoyed reading what's been posted. Thanks.
     
  2. Kingarthurhk

    Kingarthurhk Isaiah 53:4-9

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    Sep 5, 2010
    Texas
    IMNSHO Redneck is a state of mind and it is color blind. I understand its historical origins; however, it has become something complete different in the modern context.
     

  3. countrygun

    countrygun

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    Mar 9, 2012
    [​IMG]
     
  4. countrygun

    countrygun

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    Mar 9, 2012
    BTW when did this fantasy world exist? Was it on this planet?
     
  5. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    Mar 10, 2002
    dallas, tx
    If'n guy calls me a red neck i'm jusr by God gonna give him what fer.
     
  6. Hey, back on topic, y'all!

    Redneck computer terms

    BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
    BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
    BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
    BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
    CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
    CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
    TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
    CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
    DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
    DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer
    FAX - What you lie about to the IRS
    HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
    HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
    INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
    KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
    MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
    MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers
    MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
    MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live
    NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
    ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
    ROM - Where the pope lives
    SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
    SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast
    SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
    SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
     
  7. zoyter2

    zoyter2 Yeah, so what?

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    Jun 25, 2002
    Anniston, Alabama
    I don't understand all the hoopla. When I tell a joke about the Alabama girl dating her brother, everyone laughs. But when I tell about the black guy with a bucket of chicken, 15 kids and a one watermelon, I get call racist. :dunno:
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2013
  8. countrygun

    countrygun

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    Mar 9, 2012
    Despite the inbreeding "Alabama" isn't a race.

    That's the technical argument, but, in principle you are right.

    Now tell me the one about the black girl from Alabama and her brother and we'll see how it goes over.
     
  9. fx77

    fx77 CLM

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    Nov 23, 2008
    PC is destroying this country
    lets post more jokes...
     
  10. MtBaldy

    MtBaldy Obie Wan, RIP

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    At the beach
    I grew up in south GA. Except for the well educated, intelligent, and affluent part I could easily be a redneck. I think redneck jokes are funny.
     
  11. Wyoming

    Wyoming

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    Southwest Wyoming
    Countrygun I really don't know the difference between a slurppee Indian and a casino Indian. Technically I am a Native American since I was born in the USA so can you tell me?
     
  12. ICARRY2

    ICARRY2 NRA Life Member

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    Dec 22, 2007
    Go complain to Jeff Foxworthy. :rolleyes:
     
  13. countrygun

    countrygun

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    Mar 9, 2012
    It's like the difference between a dot on the forehead and full warpaint, between owning a 7-11 and a casino.

    I never liked being called a "Native American", because one of the biggest qualifications is "being born here' well.....

    I much prefer, "Descendant of indigenous pre-Columbian aboriginal inhabitants"
     
  14. Wyoming

    Wyoming

    3,077
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    Feb 3, 2007
    Southwest Wyoming
    Thanks! Don't drink many slurpees but here in Wyoming 7-11 have more Spanish speaking employees working there. If you said hotel Indian compared to casino Indian I might have gotten it because most of our hotels have been bought out by people from India.

    "I much prefer, Descendant of indigenous pre-Columbian aboriginal inhabitants" That is too wordy can we just use Indian?
     
  15. bigmac85

    bigmac85

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    Feb 24, 2012
    Tulsa
    I just say "im choctaw"
     
  16. Ronaldo

    Ronaldo Ancient Member Millennium Member

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    Nov 7, 1999
    Free Republic of Tejas
    And what about us poor white-lookin' Mexkins down here in the Republic of Texas? I'm 7/8 Hispanic, 1/8 Cherokee on my Mama's side but look 100% anglo!

    I learned long ago to use my nickname instead of my full name when meeting new folks or going to parties. So I became inured to Mex jokes. Ironically, being US born and bred, I've never thought much about it since my surname sounds Anglo. The only time is when I fill out some guvmint form and it asks racial questions.

    The point of all this is that I hear and tell all kinds of racial jokes, including Redneck variety, with all my friends, who are of all colors and mixtures. No Problemo!

    Everyone these days acts like they have an official Obama-issued cob up their rear end. No wonder nobody jokes or laughs anymore...

    OK Eric, I'll take my spanking now....

    Ronaldo (my real name)
     
  17. An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

    The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "my treat."

    The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once again nodded that it was, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "on my bill."

    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back to his legs, got up and danced a jig right out the door.

    Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

    Then Jesus walked up to the Redneck.

    The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm drawin' disability!"
     
  18. rhino673

    rhino673

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    Feb 7, 2010
    Should have known that some folks on here would get their panties in a wad.
     
  19. Kentucky Shooter

    Kentucky Shooter NRA Life Member

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    Jun 12, 2009
    Kentucky
    :rofl:
     
  20. WarCry,

    As a bonafide West Virginia Mountain William, I know folks who would fit that description to a 'T'. Once when I was a food sales rep, I called on one of my stores in Parsons WV., a lovely mountain village in Tucker Co. There was a sign near the door that advertised (no fool'n) "The Hick Festival" I chuckled a little at that and said, "There's a festival for just about everone now!", or some such. I got some long faces and some stern looks from some of the store employees. I told them straight up I WAS a West Virginian and could laugh about it if I wanted to. Didn't change anything.
    I think everyone needs to loosen up a little (no matter who you are) and not take yourselves so seriously.
    It always amazed my co-workers in Pittsburgh that I laughed at West Virginia jokes whenever one was told. Funny is funny as long as it isn't vulgar. Various counties and towns in WV have jokes told about them by adjoining communities. No one gets their tighties in a wad, so many have relatives or friends that are the carbon copy of the joke in real life...:)

    Gray_Rider