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Redneck Engineering Exam

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Jun 15, 2002.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

    4,251
    3
    Sep 10, 2001
    SC
    1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

    2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
    A. 66 Ford Fairlane
    B. 69 Chevrolet Chevelle
    C. 64 Pontiac GTO

    3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

    4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?

    5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

    6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

    7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

    8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

    9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

    10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country western singer?
     
  2. Dogman

    Dogman Getting Senior

    358
    0
    May 6, 2000
    OH
    Errrr... ummm... Hey Billy Bob, what in tarnation is a "exam"?
     


  3. carebear

    carebear Da Bear is back

    523
    0
    Jun 23, 2001
    Anchorage, AK
    that's what them what caint spell "trans" call them Pontiacs.
     
  4. trcubed

    trcubed Senior Member

    792
    0
    Jan 23, 2001
    Kuhnigitdale, NC
    I had an employee a few years back that took the test and came up with answers for each question. (I think it was the "Tennessee" Engineering Exam then.) The answers were more hilarious than the orignal questions, and, oddly, some even made sense!

    Letsee...that stuff is buried amongst ten years of retained project records. If I can find it, I'll post it.

    Terry Riley
     
  5. SK

    SK Millennium Member

    3
    0
    Aug 21, 1999
    I submitted this quiz to the head of the engineering dept. at work. Here are his answers:

    1.Diameter of limb is directly proportional to diameter of possum's tail.

    2.Depends on if you're using wood blocks, concrete blocks, or hay bales.

    3.A couple of 1960's vintage Winnebago radiators ought to do the job.

    4.All I can say is - Mr. Busch better get to brewin'.

    5.The impact would be a little less than if Aunt Bessie and Uncle Cecil vented simultaneously.

    6.I reckon my coon dogs would be hurtin'.

    7.I reckon if they hitch 'em all together in a big train hooked to the house there wouldn't be no problem.

    8.What's a muffler?

    9.Most of them ole boys are walking gas warnings anyway. Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

    10.Wouldn't take long. They may not have all their fingers and toes, but that wouldn't stop 'em..
     
  6. Public

    Public

    39
    0
    Mar 31, 2002
    Southwest USA
    Re-Intarnation - What happens to a redneck after all the beer is gone in heaven.
     
  7. rednek30043

    rednek30043

    293
    0
    Sep 12, 2001
    Atlanta, Ga.
    my feelins is hurt, i failed this test in the 4th grade