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Realistic Cutesy Homey Thingys

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 10, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    ( this chick has had it! )

    Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

    I'm creative
    you can't expect me to be neat too!

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home

    Ring Bell for Maid Service
    If no answer
    Do It Yourself!

    I clean house every other day
    Today is the other day!

    If you write in the dust..
    PLEASE don't date it!

    I would cook dinner but
    I can't find the can opener!

    My house was clean last week
    ( too bad you missed it! )

    A clean kitchen is
    ...the sign of a wasted life.


    I came
    I saw
    I decided to order take out.

    If you don't like my standards of cooking
    ...lower your standards.

    You may touch the dust in this house
    but please don't write in it!

    Although you'll find our house a mess
    Come in
    Sit down
    It doesn't always look like this
    Some days it's even worse.

    A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen
    ..and this kitchen is delirious.

    If we are what we eat,
    then I'm easy, fast,
    and cheap

    A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

    Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
    for they shall never cease to be amused.

    A clean house is a sign of a mis-spent life.

    Help keep the kitchen clean
    EAT OUT!!

    Countless number of people have eaten
    in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

    My next house will have no kitchen
    just vending machines.

    Gardening forever
    . . .
    Housework, never!

    Dull women have immaculate houses.

    I'd live life in the fast lane
    but I am married to a speed bump.

    If you sleep on it ... make it up.
    If you wear it ... hang it up.
    If you drop it ... pick it up.
    If you eat out of it ... put it in the sink.
    If you step in it ... wipe it off.
    If you open it ... close it.
    If you empty it ... fill it up.
    If it rings .... answer it.
    If it howls ... feed it.
    If it cries ... love it!
  2. vertigo7


    Feb 11, 2002
    One from my house -

    This kitchen serves all 4 food groups:
    1. Microwave
    2. Frozen
    3. Fast Food
    4. Canned

  3. Gunrnr

    Gunrnr Senior Goofoff Millennium Member

    Oct 31, 1999
    Land of Enchantment
    Describe a (name your favorite oppressed socially-disadvantaged group) Seven-Course meal: A six-pack and a hamburger
  4. spook2

    spook2 Millennium Member

    Dec 25, 1999
    Four Basic Food Groups: FAT.FRIED..CHOCOLATE...ALCOHOL