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Real estate

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Mar 22, 2005.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Real estate is going up again.

    If you're looking, here are some helpful translations of descriptions in Real Estate ads:

    Sophisticated city living - Next to a noisy bar.

    Old World Charm - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning.

    Contemporary feeling - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning.

    Close to Lakes - Impossible to park from April to October.

    Wide open floor plan - Previous owner removed supporting walls.

    Security System - Neighbor has a dog.

    Need TLC - Major structural damage.

    Updated kitchen - Sink no longer overflows.

    Motivated seller - Has been on the market for 14 years.

    Convenient - Located on freeway entrance ramp.

    Mint - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet.

    Neutral decor - No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls.

    Move in condition - Front door missing.

    Cozy - No room larger than 9 x 6.

    Lower level family room - Ping Pong table over sewer opening.

    Light open spaces - Many holes in walls and ceiling.

    Outstanding - Painted purple, sticks out like a sore thumb.