Real estate is going up again. If you're looking, here are some helpful translations of descriptions in Real Estate ads: Sophisticated city living - Next to a noisy bar. Old World Charm - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning. Contemporary feeling - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning. Close to Lakes - Impossible to park from April to October. Wide open floor plan - Previous owner removed supporting walls. Security System - Neighbor has a dog. Need TLC - Major structural damage. Updated kitchen - Sink no longer overflows. Motivated seller - Has been on the market for 14 years. Convenient - Located on freeway entrance ramp. Mint - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet. Neutral decor - No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls. Move in condition - Front door missing. Cozy - No room larger than 9 x 6. Lower level family room - Ping Pong table over sewer opening. Light open spaces - Many holes in walls and ceiling. Outstanding - Painted purple, sticks out like a sore thumb.