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ranchers wifes dinner party

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Dec 18, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    Aug 20, 2002
    Subject: Dinner parties

    A group of Texas neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and
    As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for
    dinner at a different neighbors' houses each month. Of course the lady of
    the house was to prepare the meal.
    When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their
    house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a
    meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.
    A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to
    have mushroom smothered steak.
    When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a
    small can was more than she wanted to pay, She then told her husband., "We
    aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive."
    He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those
    There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."
    She said. "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild
    mushrooms are poison."
    He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the
    time and it never has affected them."
    After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the
    pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild
    mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready
    to go over her smothered steak.
    Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol'Spot's (the yard dog) bowl
    and gave him a double handful.
    She even put some grease on them to make them tasty.
    Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite.
    All morning long Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to
    affect him, so she decided to use them.
    The meal was a great success, and Susie had even hired a lady from town to
    come out and help her serve.
    She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class.
    After everyone had finished they all began to kick back and relax and
    The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit.
    About this time the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in
    Susie's ear.
    She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died." With this news, Susie went into
    After she finally calmed down, she called the Doctor and told him what had
    He said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an
    ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We will pump out
    everyone's stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them all there
    and keep them calm."
    It wasn't long before they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance
    was coming down the road. .
    When they got there, the EMT's got out their suitcases and a stomach pump
    and the Doctor arrived shortly thereafter.
    One by one they took each person into the Master bedroom and pumped out
    their stomach.
    After the last one was finished, the Doctor came out and said, "I think
    everything will be fine now", and he left.
    They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and
    about this time the town lady came in and said,
    "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."