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Puns

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Mrs Glockrunner, Oct 9, 2012.

  1. When chemists die, they barium.

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. However, he says he can stop any time.

    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I just can't put it down.

    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

    PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

    Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

    We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

    When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

    Broken pencils are pointless.

    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    Haunted ~ French pancakes give me the crêpes.

    Velcro is a rip off!

    A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

    Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

    The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

    Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too
     
  2. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster Millennium Member

    18,509
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    Sep 24, 1999
    Hartford, Vermont
    Heheheheheheh very nice collection! :supergrin:
     

  3. Paul53

    Paul53 Geezer Boomer

    8,336
    7,489
    Nov 27, 2011
    Maine
    I go to church religiously.
     
  4. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster Millennium Member

    18,509
    710
    Sep 24, 1999
    Hartford, Vermont
    So do I. Every Sunday!