Proof Jesus was married

Discussion in 'Religious Issues' started by Bilbo Bagins, Sep 19, 2012.

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  1. Bilbo Bagins

    Bilbo Bagins Slacked jawed

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  3. If Mary Magdalene looked like Monica Bellucci (Passion of the Christ)... I'd say he was down right gay if it didn't hit that.

    What if Jesus was Gay? He never spoke against homosexuality, and he did hang out with a bunch of dudes and one prostitute that he apparently never touched. Could Christ have been a homosexual?

  4. MadMonkey

    MadMonkey Spershul Furces

    I'm 28 and a virgin, and not exactly the holiest person in the world :rofl: I'm sure it wouldn't have been difficult for the son of God to stay single...
  5. Geko45

    Geko45 Smartass Pilot

    Just a man like any other. I wonder what he would say if he could know how his teachings have been so distorted.
  6. Geko45

    Geko45 Smartass Pilot

    All that proves is that you are socially awkward.
  7. I often wonder this too. For instance, it drives me nuts when people claim that Jesus did not say He was God.
  8. Well first we are assuming that such a person as Christ even existed. But that he was the offspring of the creator of the universe is an even greater leap. First it requires assuming there is even a creator at all. And to say you're a virgin... well... I've heard that before LOL. There's no way to verify that.
  9. SPIN2010

    SPIN2010 Searching ...

    No, it actually proves he wants to present his future wife with the best he can offer.

    Thanks for your service MM.
    #8 SPIN2010, Sep 19, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2012
  10. Actually it proves he's as "Aberrant" as believers like to say Homosexuals are.
    #9 Glock36shooter, Sep 19, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2012
  11. MadMonkey

    MadMonkey Spershul Furces

    I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm a contractor, not military... those guys deserve the thanks way more than I do :patriot:

    (socially awkward comments are always expected, BTW :rofl:)
  12. Geko45

    Geko45 Smartass Pilot

    What? No thanks for my service?

    <-- Desert Storm/Shield & Operation Deliberate Force
  13. LOL Practice makes perfect. A 3 minute exhibition is not really going to be considered the "Best" he can offer. You can hope you're first time out of the gate is going to be this spectacular triumph of sexual prowess... but it's spectacularly unlikely.

    You seem to put forth the idea that once you've had sex... you are no longer at your best. How so?
  14. Thank you for keeping us safe.
  15. Geko45

    Geko45 Smartass Pilot

    You're welcome. Wasn't really fishing for a thanks. Just curious as to why one of us was bestowed appreciation while the other wasn't.
  16. Because he's pure and untouched by filthy women. You are dirty and covered in the waste of your own jackassery.
  17. Geko45

    Geko45 Smartass Pilot

    Now we're talking!

  18. Arc Angel

    Arc Angel Deus Vult!

    :upeyes: 'Oh ye of little faith,' Before everyone gets too carried away with this quasi-religious, pseudo-intellectual farce:

    (1) The Apostle Paul specifically preached against, both, the Copts and Gnostic heresies.

    (2) Christ, Himself, was - and is - married to His bride: THE CHURCH!

    If you found a message in a Chinese fortune cookie that said, 'You will, perhaps, be a rich man someday.' would you believe it? Would it be, 'true'? This is pseudointellectual nonsense, people, and should be treated that way.

    During His lifetime, here on earth, the Lord Jesus Christ was repeatedly accused of being a patron of Satan, the devil. If, tomorrow morning, someone discovers a parchment that says, 'Christ is in league with the devil.' does THAT make the statement true?

    Remember there is, still, a huge segment of the earth's population that does NOT believe Jesus of Nazareth is the biblical Messiah. These people do a lot of writing, too. Does that mean they are correct?

    Really, this is intellectual nonsense; and bears neither one way, nor another on the true nature of Christ and His life. The one thing we do know that is irrefutable about the life and person of the biblical Jesus of Nazareth is that He perfectly fulfilled The Law. A part of that Law DOES SAY, 'Be fruitful and multiply.' If Christ is the head of the church; and the church is His bride, then, Jesus Christ did, indeed, keep that commandment; and whether or not He did so in a carnal fashion is simply NOT germane to Christian faith.

    As for Mary Magdalene? She is a reformed whore. As such, and in an important allegorical sense, Mary Magdalene represents the almost irrepressible urge of the (wandering) human soul to go a whoring. That's it! This and her, 'discovery' of the Risen Christ represent Mary Magdalene's real spiritual significance to Christian faith.

    Somebody's been watching too many reruns of The Da Vinci Code. :freak:
    #17 Arc Angel, Sep 19, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2012
  19. I know, right?
  20. Geko45

    Geko45 Smartass Pilot

    I fully believe that Paul took this position, but that doesn't mean he was correct.

    This metaphor has always struck me as a bit odd. God created the church and then married it? Isn't that a little incestuest? Like marrying your own daughter? The whole thing strikes me as a poorly formed analogy developed by an unsophisticated people to help them explain their relationship with the deity they created to explain natural phenomenon.
  21. So what?

    Gross, Jesus humped a building?

    Prove he wasn't. Prove his nonsense about grace wasn't to turn people away from the Law... God's real path for us. Christianity IS much easier. It would appeal to most since works aren't required. It's the ultimate free lunch... Heaven for the price of simple faith. What if that's not the standard God wants us to live up to? What if he expected us all along to keep the Law and Christ... a minion of Satan came and drove half the world away from it with the concept of Grace.

    Doesn't make it false.

    Does that mean they aren't?

    How do we KNOW that? Because he said so? Because ancient mythological stories say so? What if he's Satan's right hand man? Wouldn't he have intentionally deceived everyone anyway?

    And the same would be true if he were in league with the Devil. If Satan's goal is to see as many of us fall with him as possible... what better way than a Trojan Horse like Chirst? Constantly leading us from the narrow path of the Law to the much easier path of just believing.

    Doesn't it sound more like Satan's style to send a magic man of the flesh. God is more earthquakes and fire from the sky. The Devil is the one that uses the flesh against us isn't he?

    The worst kinda whore. :rofl:
    #20 Glock36shooter, Sep 19, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2012

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