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Politically Correct SAT

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Gunrnr, Jul 4, 2002.

  1. Gunrnr

    Gunrnr Senior Goofoff Millennium Member

    235
    0
    Oct 31, 1999
    Land of Enchantment
    Scholastic Aptitude Test
    (Culturally sensitive Version)



    Q: Name the four seasons.
    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand and dead animals.

    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: What is a planet?
    A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.

    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you become intercontinental.

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A: Premature death.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the vowels.

    Q: What is the Fibula
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does "varicose" mean?
    A: Nearby.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
    A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Q: What is a turbine?
    A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

    Q: What is a Hindu?
    A: It lays eggs.

    Q: What is a seizure?
    A: A Roman emperor.

    Q: What is a terminal illness?
    A: When you are sick at the airport.

    Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is its characteristic feature?
    A: Mushrooms. They always grow in wet places causing them to look like umbrellas.