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"Police Sense Of Humor"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Nov 29, 2004.


  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1
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    Location:
    Beaumont,Texas
    "Police Sense Of Humor"

    Who says cops don't have a sense of humor? The following were taken off
    of actual police car videos around the country.

    "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
    out after you wear them awhile."

    "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
    worthless document."

    "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
    know,
    that's the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

    "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
    write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
    will help. Oh did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
    again or I'll give you another ticket."

    "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
    or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
    ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

    "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
    oven."

    "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
    "Just how big were those two beers?"

    "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
    now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
    yours.
    At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    (and my favorite...)

    "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
    don't.
    Sign here please...............

    ;N
     
  2. WERA49

    WERA49
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    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2003
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    Ohio
    LOL! I'm glad that none of those have been directed toward me. :)
     

  3. 8-Ball

    8-Ball
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    Drifting Cowboy

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    Illinois
    ;z ;z ;z
     
  4. okie

    okie
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    GT Mayor

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
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    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    ROTFLMAO;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z
     
  5. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1
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    Federal Member
    CLM

    Joined:
    May 24, 2000
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    Location:
    Beaumont,Texas