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personal advise

Discussion in 'Band of Glockers' started by Wp.22, Jun 29, 2005.

  1. Wp.22

    Wp.22

    3,326
    0
    Jan 17, 2005
    philippines
    Dear Bogs,

    I personally don't know anyone here amd this where i choose to post this little problem of mine must be men with guns are more respsonsible than men with cars.

    Here it goes, I'm getting married this year december 12 to exact. As far as i know and feel there is nothing wrong with my relationship and what i feel for my futre wife. We're both happy and love each other to the max. as boyfriend and girlfriend we've been steady for about 5 years before we decided to get married this year. Now comes the problem a friend of mine for 8 years (female) would occasionally go out for lunch during the time she was looking for a job. We seldom see each other during those 8 years so everytime i would see her always make me excited.

    Then last month when i change my mobile line subscription i informed here about my new number since then we would continously text each other about anything.

    Then one time while i and my girlfriend at my father's house having dinner she texted me asking me if my house is near where they were having a party i said yes and y. she told me she's bored i texted here back and told her that i'm out of the house. MY girlfriend got suspicious whom i texting. Luckily my sister inlaw was also visiting so my GF was busy talking to her. I went o my room and then i received another text from my friend asking me what time will i be back. I tetxted her again told her that i will be home at ten ( thats the time my GF usually leaves my place) and if she still there i will drive her home she agreed instantly.

    At exactly ten my GF leaves my place then at 10:30 my friend texted me again i told here to wait for me. I just need to make excuses to my dad that im going out late at night it is usual of me to leave the house late.

    To make the sort i fetch her from the place they were partying a walking distance to my place. One thing i noticed aside from she sexier and prettier this time she's a little bit tipsy. On the way to her place at pasig i live at mandaluyong btw. Out of the blue she told me that she had long know that i have a crush on her i being a typical pinoy did not know how to respond. She told me that we should enjoy my last days of being bachelor after december accoridng to her will be another story because im married that time.

    I asked her about her boy friend and she told me that they already broke up. also along the way i recalled that her birthday is already coming ( we share the same birth month) she told me that we should go out during her birth day ( which is a monday June 6) a lunch date. I said sure i still have a week to plan i told my self. May 31 my GF called to say that we have an appoinment to our wedding gown designer and the hotel representative on the same day i have a date with my friend. I lied and swayed my GF to re schedule our appointment on an earlier date.

    Come monday morning me the super excited recieve a text message from my friend taht our date is cancelled because she was assigned to another branch. Me being dis appointed texted my heart out it was a long message her( my message was" 8 years had pass some of our friend had come a go but still the two of us had remained friends. we might not have each other regularly but evrytime we are together even in short time it was always a blast. Though the last time we were together might be the last for we both know our situation me being engaged) her reply was i was making her cry even if it;s her birthday.

    days passed and she texted me if i know somebody selling a phone for her sun sim. i told her i'll help her look for one. Out of the blue i ask her if i courted her 8 years ago would she said yes her reply was YEs it's only me that i did not pursue. it stuned me i told her jokingly is it to late her reply was "wag mong guluhin ang isip ko".

    LAst saturday she texted me if im going out after work I called her and ask why she then told me that can i fetch her luckily i, going with my future best man that night i told sure we will pick up then drop of my friend to his house and after which i will bring her to place. Again along the way we talked openly about our selves why we did not end out with each other.

    During the 8 years both of us are committed to another persons this is the only time she has no boyfriend. We would console each other with words that it better this way that we are are friends for life etc.

    Then 3 days ago i texted her if she remember th name of her friend who i met when we went to batangas for fiesta. She asked me why i told her if she could set a blind date for me she did not reply even i texted her. yesterday i texted her how my ultimate crush this morning her reply was call me at this number.

    Being obedient i called her she told me why are men like this the would not call nor text they just dorp you like a hot potato. I asked what the problem she told she has another textmate and he is not textinh her for one day only. Again i asked her inocently what is the status of your relationship her reply was we're not BF and GF yet but we understand each other another thing is the guy ahs a GF and he is located out of town.

    With all my wisdom i told her if the guy is realy serious about you he should leave his GF anf be with you if not niloloko ka lang nun. Im getting irritated but i try to hide it. Before we hung up the phone she blurted selos (jealous) ka noh.

    Sorry if it is to long i wrote all the details.

    My questions are

    1. is this worth the risk?
    2. is she using me for convenience?
    3. Is she being honest with me about her new relationship or it way to get back at me when i ask her about her friend?
    4. what is your general opinion on her?

    BOGS i need you wisdom here.

    Thanks
     
  2. batangueno

    batangueno Shock Resist

    4,804
    0
    Oct 1, 2002
    California
    You did say that you and your girlfriend are happy and love each other to the max. Do you want to loose that?
     


  3. Alexii

    Alexii Janeway Forever

    1,069
    0
    Nov 14, 2001
    Delta Quadrant
    It's near next to impossible to form an opinion about someone with secondhand information such as this one, so I'll refrain from guessing the intentions of your friend.

    Is it worth the risk? It's fun and exciting and brimming with possibilities at first. But then what? More trouble and more lies to cover them. How long can you keep a relationship like that? Would you stop when you get married?

    I was hoping to provide some answers when I responded to this thread, but it seems that you need more questions to vector you into what really want. Though one advice would be: If you feel like this about someone else, then it may be for everybody's good (including you, your GF, the friend, your parents, HER parents) if you would postpone your wedding indefinitely. Good luck, man. It ain't easy.
     
  4. jasonub

    jasonub

    2,698
    0
    Sep 28, 2003
    Philippines
    me id scr%#$ the other chick and still get married. but with this action comes a consequence if you get caught.

    And this will be a precedent so you will sc%$#! her again and then if another one comes along get her too.

    we are men and we like adventure but the ultimate question is are you willing to risk it all? Lose your wife to be? Get talked about by your friends and family?

    Another thing is it may be a setup. It happened to me and i passed with flying colors since the chick is not my type


    It will be your decision;Q

    Sorry bulgar ha thats the way i am;f
     
  5. Allegra

    Allegra

    6,359
    3
    Mar 16, 2003
    Philippines
    napatingin ako sa avatar mo, parang si batman ang may problema ah :)
    Tama si Batangueno, its what you do that defines you

    Pero, dont kid yurself
    the fact that you asked this question sa amin means,nasira na ulo mo kay friend
    Marunong din tong friend mo eh
    If we tell you to stop seeing si friend, I doubt makikinig ka
    Remember, if you touch her ( si friend ), guguluhion ka at di ka na bibitawan nun
    Just get it on
    Marry your fiance, gawin mong no.2 si friend , at galingan mo fafa

    Keep your guns safely nside a vault

    or...
     
  6. paltic

    paltic

    218
    0
    Sep 11, 2003
    exciting at risky yan pare....lalo na pag nagkita kayo na tipsy na naman sya... :) pero delikado ang ginagawa mong lies kapag may text messages yung 'friend' mo... one day mahuhuli ka rin pag di mo tinigilan yan...;P pero mahirap aminin na gusto mong "makaisa" ;f
     
  7. Dok

    Dok Rimfire Fan

    242
    0
    Jun 19, 2003
    Durian City, Philippines
    pakilala mo na lang si friend sa akin, naghahanap din ako ng friend:)

    seriously, love and marry your fiance...... and introduce me to your friend.

    :)
     
  8. JuDGe

    JuDGe

    1,449
    0
    Dec 2, 2002
    Mega-City One
    parang gameplan lang yan sa isang course of fire.... don't change your gameplan once you are on deck and given the 'load and make ready' command, if you are still thinking about doing something else before the 'beep' ma le-leche lang buhay mo... ah este... yung laro mo pala.
     
  9. mikey177

    mikey177 Remember

    1,357
    0
    Jan 28, 2003
    Philippines
    Wp.22, I don't know if you're a religious person, but if you are, it wouldn't hurt to find some quiet time alone without any disturbances and just pray for Divine guidance.

    1. is this worth the risk?

    Frankly speaking, no. Even though you and your GF aren't married yet, how you treat each other even at this stage of your relationship will set precedents for how you will interact as man and wife. If you can't be totally honest with your fiancee now, you might want to think twice about whether you can be completely honest with her in the future.

    On the other hand, if your friend of 8 years is so special that you'd be willing to keep your meetings with her a secret from your GF, then you might want to think about whom you really want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and before you plunge into it, there must not be any shade of doubt in your mind about living with your mate until both of you are old and gray. So ask yourself, would I regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't marry my friend of 8 years, or is my GF the person I would like to share EVERYTHING with, all my weaknesses, my dreams, my imperfections, my gun collection, and my hopes for the future.

    2. is she using me for convenience?

    Maybe your friend is just as confused as you are. Put yourself in her shoes, here you are about to get married and you go and ask her if things would have been different if you had courted her instead of your GF. Hindi ba nakakagulo ng isip yon? A girl would wonder where you intend to go with your line of thought.

    Anyway, you know your friend better than I do, so you should be able to tell whether she is just using you, and what her reasons for doing so might be, if ever.

    3. Is she being honest with me about her new relationship or is it a way to get back at me when i asked her about her friend?

    My wife and I have often had disagreements about my friendships with the opposite sex. When I was in college I was part of an org (UPRPT) where deep ties of friendship were common even between members of the opposite sex. I carried this paradigm over to the work world, and have often found myself in the position of confidante and even best friend to female co-workers.

    My wife says that even though I may have pure motives when entering into close friendships with women, a woman sees relationships in a deeper vein. Kung sa lalake daw, friendship lang yon, sa babae, mas malalim ang pagkaintindi nila sa sitwasyon kahit na alam nila na may asawa o may nobyo na ang lalake. When you pay special attention to a women, it has greater significance to her than to you. That's a fundamental difference that you have to understand about how males and females view deep friendships. I'm sorry if it didn't answer your question, but perhaps the answer will be clearer to you if you and your friend talk honestly and openly about it face to face.

    4. what is your general opinion on her?

    Have you ever watched "My Best Friend's Wedding"? I could be wrong here, but maybe your friend is hoping that the two of you will end up together.

    Human relations are complex things, and there's no way to understand them better unless you discuss the issues with the person/s involved. I'll play the role of devil's advocate one last time: when you get married, the way you relate with female friends will have to change, and there are things that you used to do that will no longer be socially acceptable, such as lunch dates or movie dates. However, you still have five whole months to decide on your future-- just make sure that you stand by whatever decision you make. Panindigan mo yung iyong wedding vows pag kinasal ka na. Remember, a real man keeps his promise :)
     
  10. homer_m

    homer_m

    43
    0
    Feb 18, 2005
    manila
    im not getting married yet! can i have her no?^5

    kidding aside... "is it worth the risk?" well i guess you're the only person who can honestly answer that. when you're married, things like that will certainly come your way, and thats the same question you'll be asking yourself. the key is - know what you really want, know what you're getting into and, most important, know your way out.;L
     
  11. mc_oliver

    mc_oliver

    3,499
    0
    Feb 21, 2002
    Philippines
    I'm by no means the doctor love like the previous posters are ;f but, dude, nahirapan ako'ng basahin post mo. Might I suggest paragraphs. ;)

    Anyway, exciting ang risks. And since kasalanan ng Dios na pinanganak tayo'ng poging (NYAKS! ;f) meron talaga'ng lalapit kahit 'di natin gusto. Before and/or after marriage.

    Whatever the case, dre, be ready to take full responsibility for the consequences of your actions. ;)
     
  12. JuDGe

    JuDGe

    1,449
    0
    Dec 2, 2002
    Mega-City One
    yup! 'lapse in judgement' is not a good alibi! NENA! ;f
     
  13. Allegra

    Allegra

    6,359
    3
    Mar 16, 2003
    Philippines
    sumasakay pa naman si friend sa kotse mo hehe
    you've got to decontaminate your car pa
    remove all traces of your friend before sumakay si fiance
    check kung walang naiwan na clip, tissue, strands of long hair ( parang CSI )kaso....
    Pagsakay ni fiance , sasabihin sayo, "that's somebody elses perfume on the seatbelt" kachack----bang-bang-bang

    do yu really need the trouble?

    hehe napanuod ko yan sa sine eh
     
  14. riddler

    riddler

    1,183
    0
    Jan 19, 2001
    If you have to ask this, you should at least give your getting married a second thought. ;T
     
  15. horge

    horge -=-=-=-=- Lifetime Member

    3,045
    19
    Jan 22, 2004
    almost home
    Paragraph-breaks go a real long way. ;T
    I got lost, reading halfway down, and found it too bothersome to relocate where I'd dropped off. But to be fair:

    1. is this worth the risk?
    Dunno, you tell me.

    2. is she using me for convenience?
    Dunno, ask her.

    3. Is she being honest with me about her new relationship or it way to get back at me when i ask her about her friend?
    What was that again?

    4. what is your general opinion on her?
    Dunno, can she shoot?

    You're in an existing relationship that was apparently so stable
    that you were willing to make the big leap into marriage.
    This 'other woman' just lost her stable relationship, so
    of course she wants a piece of what you have (which is what
    she used to 'almost' have).

    Why do you think guys already in relationships field more flirtation? BTDT.
    I'm ultimately describing a tragically self-defeating venture
    --a woman chasing after fidelity, via infidelity.
    The no-win contradiction should be clear.

    Oh, and:
    Ryan Jaworski aside... let me just get this straight:
    you're seeking out responsibility to explore irresponsibility?
    I'm not trying to be mean ---but if you can't give your fiancee your fidelity,
    then you should at least give her the civil dignity of your honesty.

    Basic human decency 'yan, maski sa stranger... e yung fiancee mo pa kaya?
     
  16. Allegra

    Allegra

    6,359
    3
    Mar 16, 2003
    Philippines
    This is amazing!
    Napaka morally upright pala natin lahat! :)
    Very easy to take the high road of morality when we are not involved

    Why dont we stop for a second and put ourselves in WP22 shoes
    What would guys you do?
    Ako, my answer would still be to avoid the other girl
    Dami ko kasi kakilala dito sa BOGS eh
     
  17. Wp.22

    Wp.22

    3,326
    0
    Jan 17, 2005
    philippines
    Thank you sa mga advises nyo now i know what to do. Concentrate na lang ako sa future namin ng fiance ko at sa pagbili ng next future gun na 45 caliber meron na kaong isang bala sa baril na lang ang kulang. Thank you talaga hope someday ma meet ko kayo at makilala para personal na pasalamatan.
     
  18. 9MX

    9MX Rei!

    5,952
    0
    Sep 29, 2003
    Shooting
    hehehe, my opinion is very simple.

    1. risk what you can afford to lose

    2. don't risk what you can't afford to lose


    life is really a gamble;c
     
  19. i_am_infinity

    i_am_infinity Pang Altar

    1,688
    0
    Jun 20, 2005
    To Infinity and Beyond
    Dre i'm not an expert but i've gone thru a somewhat similar situation just like that although hindi pareho(i'm not yet married..ung girl ang married:))..but the outcome was not pleasant. i ended up as the loser no matter what angle u look at it talo ka pare.

    1. is this worth the risk?
    it costs so much to go into something like that...u will loose friends, credibility, integrity, THE ONE u've spent a long time loving...just for what? a Fling? usually, i'm not saying na masamang tao si friend but if she was sincere...why only now?


    2. is she using me for convenience?
    well most of the time we think na tayo lang guys ang naglalaro..the awful truth is sila din madalas mag laro...i know i was a victim;g


    3. Is she being honest with me about her new relationship or it way to get back at me when i ask her about her friend?
    or it could be something else...maybe to cover up a previous relatoinship..heart breaking experience...dami pa reasons!!


    4. what is your general opinion on her?
    can't say...i don't know her...pakilala mo na lang din sakin si friend ;) hehehe j/k

    bottomline is this, "YOUR SIN WILL FIND YOU OUT" meaning mahuhuli at mahuhuli ka and the consequences of that are costly and besides i assume Fiance loves u and just teach her to shoot...tago mo lang lagi guns mo baka gamitin sayo;e
     
  20. Eye Cutter

    Eye Cutter Moderator

    8,193
    1
    Nov 21, 2002
    Dr. B. Eye
    I had to get my eyeglasses out. nahilo at nawala ako sa pagbasa ng talambuhay mo! paragraphs would be nice!

    if i were in your shoes..... hahahaha!!! wag na lang! nagbabasa asawa ko rito e! hahaha!


    I move that this thread be made into a Sticky!