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One Liners - part 3

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Ranger.357, Oct 1, 2007.

  1. Ranger.357

    Ranger.357 NRA Member

    Aug 22, 2007
    WA State
    61.Floggings will continue until morale improves.
    62.Forgive your enemies... but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
    63.Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
    64.Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
    65.Gravity doesn’t exist. The Earth sucks.
    66.Grow your own dope... plant a man.
    67.Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!
    68.Gun control is being able to hit your target!
    69.Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
    70.How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
    71.I still miss my ex-wife... BUT, my aim is improving!
    72.I bet you I could stop gambling.
    73.I can resist anything but temptation.
    74.I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
    75.I hate to repeat gossip, so I’ll only say this once...
    76.Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
    77.Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
    78.It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in labratory rats.
    79.We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
    80.Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
    81.I love cats... they taste just like chicken!
    82.Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    83.Seen on an old, beat-up car: “This is not an abandoned vehicle.”
    84.Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons.
    85.Born Free... Taxed to Death.
    86.Cover me...I’m changing lanes.
    87.As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
    88.Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
    89.The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
    90.Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.