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Okie's gone for a while. Wednesday's fill-in

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pesticidal, Apr 9, 2003.

  1. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

    Jun 5, 2002
    North Dakota
    April 9, 2003

    The Union Gospel Mission
    Urban Renewal Area
    Minneapolis, MN 55414

    Dear Brother,

    Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year for the last fourteen, I have made a tour of Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Nebraska, Kansas, Michigan, and Minnesota and the states of the Northwest. In each of these states, I have delivered "explosive" speeches of the evils of drinking and the ruination of man by the "demon" rum.

    On these tours, I have been accompanied by my young friend and assistant, Clyde Lindstone. Clyde, a young man off good family and excellent background, served as a pathetic example of life ruined by excessive indulgence in whiskey and loose women.

    Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the platform wheezing and staring at the audience through bleary, bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose, passing gas, scratching his balls, and making obscene gestures at the audience while I pointed him out as a prime example of what over-indulgence can do to a person using the Devil's Brew.

    Last summer, unfortunately, Clyde died. Needless to say, the lectures haven't been the same since. A mutual friend of yours and mine has given me your name and I wonder if you would do me the big favor of taking Clyde's place on the 2003 tour.

    Yours in Good Faith,
    Reverend Frederick P. Sloan
  2. Clyde in CO

    Clyde in CO LOL WUT?

    Aug 7, 2002
    the Springs

  3. SwampDruid

    SwampDruid Demon Doctor

    My Gawd!
    I haven't heard that one since 1959.