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Now that I am older

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Apr 23, 2003.

  1. okie

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    GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered....
    >ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
    >TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
    >THREE - I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
    >FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
    >FIVE - All reports are in, life is now officially unfair.
    >SIX - If all is not lost, where is it?
    >SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
    >EIGHT - Some days you are the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
    >NINE - I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few.
    >TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
    >ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
    >TWELVE - It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
    >THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're
    >in the bathroom.
    >FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
    >FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide
    >to play chess?
    >SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
    >SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
    >EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the
    >hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here
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