Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered.... >ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. >TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. >THREE - I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. >FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. >FIVE - All reports are in, life is now officially unfair. >SIX - If all is not lost, where is it? >SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. >EIGHT - Some days you are the dog, some days you're the hydrant. >NINE - I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few. >TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents. >ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause kids. >TWELVE - It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere. >THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're >in the bathroom. >FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. >FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide >to play chess? >SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere. >SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. >EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the >hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here >after.