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"No one should have known" you CCW'd — "Being the Gray Man"

223K views 572 replies 274 participants last post by  DoctorStrange 
#1 ·
Best title I could come up with. We might also go with "Being the Gray Man". This musing is prompted by an exchange in another thread that went like this:

And while I've only made one arrest on the "no guns" thing, I've lost count of the people I've hooked who didn't bother with the "No Trespassing" sign.
I'm curious as to why this one arrest? If the person was carrying concealed no one should have know.
The fact is that most people's version of "concealed means concealed" relies heavily on others' lack of perception and on people generally being lost in their own little bubble. It relies far too heavily on that, IMO. Once you get into a world where someone's actually looking for concealed weapons, the average guy's odds of being "made" go up. And once you get into a situation where the attention is actually on you specifically, the odds skyrocket. Yeah, yeah, that doesn't happen much. I'm writing about when it *does*.

"Being Gray" means fading into the background of where you're moving. There is no one formula for this, because what works in a law office doesn't work in a garage. The one exception to this is the guy who dresses and carries himself like a janitor. That level of service worker can move about most anywhere and be like everyone else, or be overlooked by everyone else. Let me start by talking about what *isn't* gray.

  • Gun gear isn't grey. This means exposed Wilderness belts, cute little raven pins on your hat, as well as the more obvious Tshirts.
  • Political wear isn't grey. It invites attention from both people who share the advertised views and people who oppose the advertised views. In the case of 3per, Gasden or similar advertisements, it invites LE scrutiny of your hands and waistband. Sorry, guys. I'm writing about the world as it is, not as some would wish it.
  • Cover garments beyond an untucked polo or workshirt aren't grey in warm weather. The number of people wearing vests (or worse, photographer's vests) compared to the number of people who use them to cover a gun? C'mon.
  • 5-11s aren't gray (I'm alternating spellings because I can :cool: ) There are plenty of Colombia or similar cargo pants that are quite popular. 5-11s and clones, though, are cop clothes. Cops look at people who look like them, crooks look at people who look like cops.
  • "Loud" colors aren't gray. Red attracts the eye. Neon attracts the eye. Bright attracts the eye. Attracting the eye invites being remembered, being scrutinized, and having your CCW noticed.
  • Pocket clips (folding knives) and pouches aren't grey. The crook is looking for an easy score. Seeing the clip from a knife makes him look harder before he looks away. The cop on "scan" is looking for weapons, and seeing an indicator of one he'll look for others. Belt pouches mean electronics mean stuff to steal to the crook. Seeing one piece of temptation, he's ready to look for others.
  • Posture and actions different from the crowd isn't grey. Stay to the right, go with the flow, walk, don't run. Being alert and attentive is good for you. Having your head on a swivel is doing an imitation of a crook looking for witnesses. There's a fine line on that last.

Okay, that's a start. My goal is to discuss things you can do and avoid doing so as to avoid unwanted attention to your person. Specifically, I'm talking about avoiding attention that makes people end up noticing that bulge at your waist. There's lots more, but you can start by going to public places and watching people. Notice how many your attention is drawn to when they do something from that list.
 
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#154 ·
Yeah a guy with a Glock hat, photographer's vest, fannypack, and 5.11 pants is really not doing much to conceal anything. I don't think I have one piece of clothing with a firearms logo on it and I certainly don't have any 5.11 anything. Why someone wants to wear all those flashing lights that scream, "I have a gun!" is beyond me. Concealed is more than just not having a Desert Eagle strapped to your hip.
There's a liquor store owner in my city who wears a GLOCK hat behind the counter.

I guarantee it works in his favor.
 
#157 ·
i live at the beach and summer is usually the longest and hardest to carry during. flip flops, shorts, slim t-shirt. i usually carry a g26 with stock mag. my mags with extensions do print ((to me.) wife says she cant see, but i have better pom with stock). sometimes i do catch myself touching the shirt. usually after bending down or carrying the kiddo. the slim shirts are what makes it tough but if i alter to wide or larger i would feel uncomfortable and just not be me. lol thats why i got the nice new glock. my "springy" wasnt summer enough!

lots of times i have a backpack made by camelback. ditch the bladder and i have a water tight padded compartment right next against my back with the zipper starting on my strong side low position. perfect. and with the little man its a cool young dads diaperbag... complete with hg, reload, 2 knives, toys, diapers wipes, little first aid kid, snacks and camera. haha try to pick me out when im at the mall.

well... dont try, cause now its easy. crud...
 
#158 ·
I have seen many a gray man give them selves away by trying to carry someplace they can not by law.

Example: I was at a amusement park last year that sells alcohol, and I watched a few people walk to the gate see the sign and turn back for there cars.
now if some one else sees this they can figure on a few things.
A: You now have no gun.
B: They no where to find a unattended gun in a car.
C: There is a good chance you will not be back to that car for a few hours.

Its best to know your laws as well as you can so don't give yourself away.
 
#159 ·
I have seen many a gray man give them selves away by trying to carry someplace they can not by law.

Example: I was at a amusement park last year that sells alcohol, and I watched a few people walk to the gate see the sign and turn back for there cars.
now if some one else sees this they can figure on a few things.
A: You now have no gun.
B: They no where to find a unattended gun in a car.
C: There is a good chance you will not be back to that car for a few hours.

Its best to know your laws as well as you can so don't give yourself away.
Great point
 
#161 ·
I have seen many a gray man give them selves away by trying to carry someplace they can not by law.

Example: I was at a amusement park last year that sells alcohol, and I watched a few people walk to the gate see the sign and turn back for there cars.
now if some one else sees this they can figure on a few things.
A: You now have no gun.
B: They no where to find a unattended gun in a car.
C: There is a good chance you will not be back to that car for a few hours.

Its best to know your laws as well as you can so don't give yourself away.
I agree. The gray man concept is a great one. This is an excellent thread that needs some new exposure and input.
 
#162 · (Edited)
Mr. Spade,

Thank you for the info, I appreciate it.

So basically this guy would be Captain Obvious:



I have to admit I did not get the vest thing until you said it, even after having seen the movie. However now that I think about it, last time I was at the range, most of the staff there had vests on and they were not part of a uniform.

While I enjoy fire arms I do not enjoy CC; it is an odd thing I had to pick up, for work. My office is in a rough part of town and I am often the first and last person here and we have had some issues.

So if I wanted to CC and be completely grey, how and where would be the best place to hide the fire arm and still have reasonable access to it?

Currently I don't have tactical anything, generally wear Birkenstock, shorts and a fishing shirt....but I do and have carried a knife with a clip for 15 years.
 
#166 · (Edited)
At the risk of being redundant, I would also include bumper stickers. Pro-nra, You can take my gun from my cold dead hand, etc. They basically beg thieves to break into your car and cops to pull you over.
My experiences say differently.

Plus I have always believed that, generally speaking, a belief (or knowledge) that you possess firearms will increase the chances somebody tries to break in/steal from you when you are NOT there while decreasing the chances of the same while you are present. I would take that tradeoff.
 
#168 ·
I have a hard time fitting the "gray man" role, but not necessarily by choice. My tshirt collection consists of shirts from a few of my favorite metal bands, and Harley Davidson shirts. Where I have a hard time being the "gray man" comes from my size. I'm not usually the tallest man in the room, but I am usually the biggest, usually. If I'm in the gun store or the Harley shop, I won't typically get a second look from people, but when I go strolling through Chuck E Cheese with my kids in tow, I get a few stares from the soccer moms. I don't walk around with a smug look on my face or with a "Come at me Bro" attitude, but my size and how I look(shaved head, goatee but no tattoos or piercings) are usually enough to garner a few looks from people.

I'm polite and respectful to others when out and about, I hold doors for people of either sex, not because I'm carrying and want to look friendly so people don't suspect I'm carrying, but because its how I was raised. My behavior around other people is the same whether carrying or not. If a person has to act differently when carrying, you have to wonder why a gun would change a persons attitude and demeanor. Shouldn't we as adults be behaving in a respectful manner anyways?

Becoming "gray" or blending in so to speak, is more about how you act and carry yourself rather than whether or not your wearing Dockers and Polo shirts everywhere you go. Choosing proper gear, ie gun belt, holster, gun, iwb,owb, carry position on your body, are all things that we should take into consideration when wanting to be completely concealed, but that isn't where it ends.

Just my $.02, and as always ladies and gentlemen, YMMV. Carry on.:cool:
I resemble this statement :)
 
#169 ·
Like always the comment was taken out of context. I see a lot of people on this site overreacting and getting carried away with an idea. Look at my original comment and you will see that what I said is some people do see it as a game but to a street thug it is life all the time.

Comments like ” when I walk in a mall I try and spot the person carrying” … me I don’t care who is carrying, I am more worried about the thug or shady character that is more likely to be trouble maker then some wanna-be cop or ccw holder. Does the average person go out of his way to spot people packing …NO… does a person of law enforcement …yes, like it is for a mechanic to see worn parts on a car, an engineer to see structural damage it is a part of the job.

I find the tread very entertaining and lots of useful info on how to carry without sticking out but to some it is just more fuel for the paranoia fire. I can’t enjoy life if I am always worried about the other guy and what he is doing
:goodpost:
 
#171 ·
I just completed my CCW class today. I just now finished reading this entire thread and there are a lot of great points made. Very enlightening, thank you.
Strong join date to post count. Is that how long it takes to get a carry license in Cali? :rofl:
 
#173 ·
Great thread, and a lot of good food for thought.

For me, blending in isn't much of an option. Aside from my tats, I carry a pretty noticeable collection of scars on my face/head. I tend to stand out a wee bit wherever I go. So I don't really bother trying to be grey, be a waste of time. If anything, the fact that I'm polite and nice(holding doors, etc.) to strangers gets me more strange looks than anything else. Guess people expect someone who looks like I do, to be a *****, or up to no good.

That being said... I do not in any way 'advertise' my weapon. No Tac pants, gun logo clothing, etc... I wear the same type of clothing I always have, loose fit jeans & t-shirt, and sneakers. I'm always aware of my surroundings, but I don't scout or prowl when I'm out & about.

Seen my share of "mall ninjas" though, can't help but chuckle every time. And worry a bit too. They always strike me as the type who is just itching for some s**t to go down, so they can whip out their 1911 & go Rambo on some BGs.

I carry, and will not hesitate to ventilate ANYONE who tries to hurt innocent people. But I hope to God I never have to. Regardless of the reason, taking someone's life is not something I relish the thought of.
 
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#174 ·
I have seen many a gray man give them selves away by trying to carry someplace they can not by law.

Example: I was at a amusement park last year that sells alcohol, and I watched a few people walk to the gate see the sign and turn back for there cars.
now if some one else sees this they can figure on a few things.
A: You now have no gun.
B: They no where to find a unattended gun in a car.
C: There is a good chance you will not be back to that car for a few hours.

Its best to know your laws as well as you can so don't give yourself away.
Bug,

Good point. I have had that happen to me a time or two. When it does, I'll usually grab my cell phone like it just vibrated, and pretend to take a call that requires me to leave, or at least go back to my car. I'll tell any folks with me that I have to take care of the call, and to go on in without me.

Not perfect, but usually plausible misdirection.
 
#175 ·
Interesting posts in this thread. I have tried almost everything and my most "delicate" carrying environment is work. I used to carry a G30 in a CBST and unfortunately got made twice by people that patted my gun when saying hello.
The solution I found was to use a smartcarry holster. Some people might notice an oversized bulge but nobody has asked :). I generally carry a G36 or an SP101. When really deep concealment or formal attire is required, the 642 gets the carry role.
 
#176 ·
Bug,

Good point. I have had that happen to me a time or two. When it does, I'll usually grab my cell phone like it just vibrated, and pretend to take a call that requires me to leave, or at least go back to my car. I'll tell any folks with me that I have to take care of the call, and to go on in without me.

Not perfect, but usually plausible misdirection.
Simple, yet effective diversion! Thank you for the tip! :)

.
 
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