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"No one should have known" you CCW'd — "Being the Gray Man"

223K views 572 replies 274 participants last post by  DoctorStrange 
#1 ·
Best title I could come up with. We might also go with "Being the Gray Man". This musing is prompted by an exchange in another thread that went like this:

And while I've only made one arrest on the "no guns" thing, I've lost count of the people I've hooked who didn't bother with the "No Trespassing" sign.
I'm curious as to why this one arrest? If the person was carrying concealed no one should have know.
The fact is that most people's version of "concealed means concealed" relies heavily on others' lack of perception and on people generally being lost in their own little bubble. It relies far too heavily on that, IMO. Once you get into a world where someone's actually looking for concealed weapons, the average guy's odds of being "made" go up. And once you get into a situation where the attention is actually on you specifically, the odds skyrocket. Yeah, yeah, that doesn't happen much. I'm writing about when it *does*.

"Being Gray" means fading into the background of where you're moving. There is no one formula for this, because what works in a law office doesn't work in a garage. The one exception to this is the guy who dresses and carries himself like a janitor. That level of service worker can move about most anywhere and be like everyone else, or be overlooked by everyone else. Let me start by talking about what *isn't* gray.

  • Gun gear isn't grey. This means exposed Wilderness belts, cute little raven pins on your hat, as well as the more obvious Tshirts.
  • Political wear isn't grey. It invites attention from both people who share the advertised views and people who oppose the advertised views. In the case of 3per, Gasden or similar advertisements, it invites LE scrutiny of your hands and waistband. Sorry, guys. I'm writing about the world as it is, not as some would wish it.
  • Cover garments beyond an untucked polo or workshirt aren't grey in warm weather. The number of people wearing vests (or worse, photographer's vests) compared to the number of people who use them to cover a gun? C'mon.
  • 5-11s aren't gray (I'm alternating spellings because I can :cool: ) There are plenty of Colombia or similar cargo pants that are quite popular. 5-11s and clones, though, are cop clothes. Cops look at people who look like them, crooks look at people who look like cops.
  • "Loud" colors aren't gray. Red attracts the eye. Neon attracts the eye. Bright attracts the eye. Attracting the eye invites being remembered, being scrutinized, and having your CCW noticed.
  • Pocket clips (folding knives) and pouches aren't grey. The crook is looking for an easy score. Seeing the clip from a knife makes him look harder before he looks away. The cop on "scan" is looking for weapons, and seeing an indicator of one he'll look for others. Belt pouches mean electronics mean stuff to steal to the crook. Seeing one piece of temptation, he's ready to look for others.
  • Posture and actions different from the crowd isn't grey. Stay to the right, go with the flow, walk, don't run. Being alert and attentive is good for you. Having your head on a swivel is doing an imitation of a crook looking for witnesses. There's a fine line on that last.

Okay, that's a start. My goal is to discuss things you can do and avoid doing so as to avoid unwanted attention to your person. Specifically, I'm talking about avoiding attention that makes people end up noticing that bulge at your waist. There's lots more, but you can start by going to public places and watching people. Notice how many your attention is drawn to when they do something from that list.
 
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#277 ·
:rofl: I only know of one guy who carries a man purse. He's been carrying one for so many years it has become part of him. And he CCWs all the time. Probably 24/7 for all I know. And of course, it's never in the man purse.
Man purses are very popular in some circles and in Europe.
 
#281 ·
very interesting read but a few things that stick out to me as not true is some of the clothing and the belt clip. I always carry a knife and always have it clipped to the inside of my pocket but 90 percent of the time you wont see it because my shirt covers it. As for the clothing I tend to wear a lot of pro gun or more pro hunting gear as that's who I am and what I wear. If im targeted for wearing a browning shirt so be it the camo hat should be the bigger sign lol. But in all reality I live in a small town where hunting is a big thing and a way of life so do I feel I stick out the answer is no. Do I stick out when I go out of town to the next town over to the mall, maybe but not enough for someone to target me thee are a lot other people walking around with gold jewelry to bother with me. At least that's how I feel
 
#283 ·
Those are some fine points. My attempts at Grey began when we lived in an apartment for a while in Phoenix Az. I did not want to advertise to the complex my guns or gear. I bought an oversized golf bag on wheels and used it to transport my long guns back and forth. Also I use instrument cases and standard briefcases for handguns and smaller gear. They also serve as my "Go " gear. Along with a nice non offensive Hawaiian shirt and blue jeans.
 
#284 ·
Those are some fine points. My attempts at Grey began when we lived in an apartment for a while in Phoenix Az. I did not want to advertise to the complex my guns or gear. I bought an oversized golf bag on wheels and used it to transport my long guns back and forth. Also I use instrument cases and standard briefcases for handguns and smaller gear. They also serve as my "Go " gear. Along with a nice non offensive Hawaiian shirt and blue jeans.

open carry of hawaiian shirts should be illegal :supergrin:
 
#287 ·
Enjoying Sam Spade's comments and all the others. I make every attempt to make sure my piece (g23 or LC9) stays concealed; mainly because of those who might feel threatened or uneasy upon seeing someone carrying other than a uniformed LEO. However, in a public place, having others perceive you as CCW might be a good thing. If SHTF it could be reassuring to the defenseless, or if a bad guy eyes you and thinks you might be carrying, he might think twice and move on. Just my 2 cents.
 
#288 ·
Today....Black T shirt G27 in a hi rise custom made belt slide 15 deg cant. Spent a hour in a car dealership waiting room with two state troopers. Both marine vets...traded military experiences. If noticed my gun they never let on. I was directly across from them and got up several times. I do have to take into consideration that CCW is very common here and open carry although not common...seems to be more of it lately. While the subject thread makes good points I have had different experiences.
 
#289 ·
Today....Black T shirt G27 in a hi rise custom made belt slide 15 deg cant. Spent a hour in a car dealership waiting room with two state troopers. Both marine vets...traded military experiences. If noticed my gun they never let on. I was directly across from them and got up several times. I do have to take into consideration that CCW is very common here and open carry although not common...seems to be more of it lately. While the subject thread makes good points I have had different experiences.
Such as?
 
#290 ·
As for myself, I don't have decals on my vehicles, I dress conservatively, and I don't act over confident. I blend in but sometimes I think this might make me a target for the bad guys. So when I go out I usually scan my surroundings first, identify possible threats, and get in and out of a place quickly.

For example, before I park I drive up and down a few lanes in the parking lot. This doesn't appear like I am scoping out the area, just the average Joe looking for a good spot. I always park close to the building. The closer I am, the faster I can get in. The bad guy doesn't want to mess with someone near a building full of potential witnesses. Next when I leave, I stand at the glass doors and glimpse at my route back to the car before I leave. This appears like I 'm waiting for someone. If the coast is clear I quickly go to my car. If I see someone approaching me at an odd angle, I simply act as if I forgot something and retreat to the store. I am a firm believer that being quick and stealthy doesn't give the bad guy enough time to make a decision we will both regret.
 
#295 ·
I am 65 and all my body language looks suspect and no one even knows I am there. This is due to much effort trying to stand up and walk straight without tripping or running into someone. :crying:
 
#296 ·
Do you look for attention in other ways, or is it mostly the gun?
Today....Black T shirt G27 in a hi rise custom made belt slide 15 deg cant. Spent a hour in a car dealership waiting room with two state troopers. Both marine vets...traded military experiences. If noticed my gun they never let on. I was directly across from them and got up several times. I do have to take into consideration that CCW is very common here and open carry although not common...seems to be more of it lately. While the subject thread makes good points I have had different experiences.
 
#300 ·
Very interesting thread. What blows my mind is how out of tune the average people are with what's going on around them. The other day, my girlfriend and I are walking through the mall. She is not a gun person and has no tactical training, basically your average sheep in terms of situation awareness.

We head towards check out and I notice the dude in line is rocking a full size service pistol with a light in a safariland 6360 "concealed" under a muscle shirt. The bottom of the holster was literally hanging out and don't even get me started on printing. The fact that I can identify the model of holster and that there was a light should say it all... To top it off, he was wearing a multicam hat and acu boots.

At this point, alarm bells are going off in my head, but she doesn't have a clue. The cashier doesn't have a clue. Afterwards, I talked to her and she didn't notice. I work retail on the weekends and I have even had a guy open carrying a Ruger P85 in a serpa go completely unnoticed by cashiers until I pointed it out to them when he was walking out at which point they freaked out.

I spot ccw'ers all the time at that job. Some are obvious like the first guy and others give it away with an out of place bulge, or newer guys who mess with their rig, or forget to secure the cover garment when bending over or reaching or from the wind.

Point I'm making I guess is it's not hard at all to hide from every day people. They are oblivious to even the most brazen carry methods. But someone like me who is even slightly paying attention to their surroundings is a whole different animal and harder to hide it from. It blows my mind how many I've spotted. I never realized how many people carry until I started looking. It further reinforced my own desire to carry.
 
#301 ·
Went to a party with my GF couple of her close friends, except for the couple hosting the party pretty much every other guy was armed.

I wasn't cause I was drinking and I'd prefer not to drink and carry. But the subject came up about halfway into the party I knew what 3 of the guns where before they started talking about them from either printing or actually seeing their gun.

Most of them were surprised I knew what they where carrying. My GF had no idea anyone was carrying, the sad part is there are a coupe times I'm carrying and she has no idea.
 
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