close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Newspaper Headlines In The Year 2030

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by MooseJaw, Feb 13, 2003.

  1. MooseJaw

    MooseJaw NRA Lifer Silver Member CLM

    8,775
    672
    Feb 12, 2002
    AridZona
    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

    Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but Pres Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
    mail delivery to Wednesday only.

    35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
    swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
     
  2. AC37

    AC37 SystemicAnomaly

    4,477
    263
    Dec 12, 2000
    Provo, UT
    Sadly, Microsith is already there...I've had a few crashes during installation of Windows. :(
     

  3. Ender

    Ender ComfortablyNumb

    5,214
    35
    May 20, 2001
    Tactlessville
    yep...XP will NOT install on my computer. i'm pretty fluent in simple computer stuff like building and installing, basic soft/hardware stuff. friend of mine does computer repairs for his business and couldn't do it either. gets to about 99% and dumps.
     
  4. heyTJ

    heyTJ Giddy up!

    991
    0
    Dec 14, 2001
    475' above sea level
    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative


    LOL! Hope it's not me.

    TJ