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My best friend my high school died.

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by clancy, May 27, 2012.

  1. clancy

    clancy

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    My best friend from high school was buried yesterday. For about 25 years we were as close as brothers. Gradually alcohol and drugs became more important to him than family and friends, and about 15 years ago he left his wife and 2 children destitute and took off with some bimbo he met online. I could deal with a lot of the crap he did over the years, but the one thing a man does not do is abandon his children. He drained the back account and took off in the middle of the winter and left his children in a house with no heat and no food.

    I cut him off entirely, and one night he called me in a drunken rage to tell me that the reason he left was because he had a right to be happy, that he just wanted to have the life he had when he was 18. The last thing I ever said to him was to grow up. Apparently he never took my advice.

    The obituary said what a great father he was, how successful he was in life, and how many friends he had. I didn't go to the service, because I just could not sit there and listen to people tell a bunch of lies about him. I thought about it, and felt it best. I spoke with 2 other guys we were close with, and they felt the same way.

    His sons didn't go their father's funeral, either. That pretty sums up just how great a father he was, and how successful he was in life.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2012
  2. USMCsilver

    USMCsilver Boat Life ©

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    Well...not to sound crass, but it sounds like the world will now be a better place. :thumbsup: At least, that's the picture you're painting here...
     

  3. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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  4. certifiedfunds

    certifiedfunds Tewwowist

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    I've sat through a few eulogies that wanted to make me spit. Just because someone dies does not erase the crappy things they did during their life.

    An old college friend and roommate of mine, brilliant, gifted guy, committed suicide by coke a few years back in a Vegas hotel room. Last time I saw him I was moving him out of our place because of his ridiculous drug use.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2012
  5. *ASH*

    *ASH* in hell everyone loves popcorn

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    even with my kin folks i dont do funeral homes period , stopped it when i was kid , only funeral home service ive been to was my dads obviously , and i wil for my mom if i outlive her but its looking like she will out live me .

    i quit going for the same reason , folks talking bout how great , good , blah blah , and i knew better and bit my lip .


    i go to the actual graveside services and pay little respect there , but i stand alone mostly so i dont hear all the BS .


    matter of fact my dads sister was 80 she died last week , this is a woman who when my dad died in 95 i saw her at funeral and until she died not one word , no call, no how are you . nothing . my mom sent flowers and also skipped it .

    my uncle called and said " are you sitting down ? " i said no what is it ? said Pat died , i said well that sucks and that was it .
     
  6. AA#5

    AA#5

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    Amazing how some scrounge dies & people say nice things about him. Been there. I couldn't listen to that kind of crap either.

    Apparently, these fools aren't familiar with "Thou Shalt Not Lie."

    Just as asinine, people who treated the deceased like crap their whole lives, then turn on the tears at the funeral & talk about how they Luuuuuuved them & how much they miss them......
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2012
  7. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    "He was just starting to turn his life around" is an all-too-common eulogy these days. HH
     
  8. JuneyBooney

    JuneyBooney

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    I had a close friend that had a dad that had two wives at once and two families and didn't work hard in his life at all. But when he died he was a great father, a hard worker and a great family man. :faint:Most of the guys I went to hs with have died of heart attacks. Sorry to hear that he grew up to be a pos.
     
  9. fwm

    fwm

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    Of the five of us best buddies in high school, I am the only one that lived past 44. I am now 64. The other 4 all died of circumstance caused by drugs and alcohol. I have been known to imbibe from time to time, but never had any inclination to do drugs. Moderation in ALL things help one to live long and happy. Like the OP, never went to their funerals to listen to people lie about them.
     
  10. Bow Commander

    Bow Commander

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    Yea that is tough. One of my best friends from middle and high school committed suicide last year. He was a Marine, had some issues obviously. His facebook is still open.:faint:

    A number of other friends from school are dead, and I'm only 26.
     
  11. scccdoc

    scccdoc

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    That wasn't your friend who was just buried.That was a different human being who fell prey to substance abuse. It changes people beyond recognition, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly.Your friend died many years ago, my condolences.............. DOC
     
  12. Rick305

    Rick305 ra1sales.com

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    Substance abuse can definitely transform a person -- but still inside an addict is still a hurting , hurting , person in pain. Although well intended , I think you could have worded that differently.

    Many addicts make it through the hell of substance abuse , and many unfortunately don't.

    RIP to your friend , he's in a better place.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
     
  13. scccdoc

    scccdoc

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    Yes ,I know. I'm on a Board of Directors for a drug/alcohol rehab.It's a small non-profit organization which allows me to get to know these men and many times some of their families. You may want to check the stats of "making it". Not that impressive............ DOC
     
  14. Rick305

    Rick305 ra1sales.com

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    I know. But it's possible (trust me I know)

    :)


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
     
  15. gwalchmai

    gwalchmai Lucky Member

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    Sorry for your loss, OP, whenever it happened.
     
  16. scccdoc

    scccdoc

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    Point being, this person was in a mindset much different than he was when the OP knew him. I was not attempting to degrade the abuser, just passing along an observation. I apologize if my comments were hurtful or offensive ..... DOC
     
  17. TBO

    TBO Why so serious? CLM

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    Much of the eulogy isn't meant for the deceased, but to help the process of the grieving family members and close friends.

    jmho
     
  18. Glock20 10mm

    Glock20 10mm Use Linux!

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    Last funeral I went to I ended up disowning 95% of my family and dropping three of them on the ground.
     
  19. Mrs.Cicero

    Mrs.Cicero Wayward Member

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    Who writes these people's obituaries?

    Here's a writer's exercise from ages ago - write your own obit as if you died today.

    I hate funerals where the eulogies are lies. I prefer Irish wakes where the whiskey flows freely and all the crazy things the deceased ever did are laughed and cried about. I think I'll write my own funeral service again (I did it once years ago, but I've changed my mind about a few things). I'll pick the music (the Wailin' Jennies), the Bible readings (my favorites), require the presiding pastor to preach the Gospel including the existence of hell, and absolutely DEMAND that NO ONE use that phrase about being "in a better place". I HATE that. Then I'll give my surviving relatives the option, if they don't like my funeral plans, to throw a huge party instead... because I really want the party...


    Mrs.Cicero
     
  20. TheExplorer

    TheExplorer

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    So sorry to hear. I hear more and more of this as I get older with people I knew. Not necessarily suicide, but health related conditions in general.