DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful, even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings. PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas. TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red, and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.