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Math

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, May 15, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    64,670
    1,525
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS



    Smart man + smart woman = romance

    Smart man + dumb woman = affair

    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    ______________________________


    OFFICE ARITHMETIC




    Smart boss + smart employee = profit

    Smart boss + dumb employee = production

    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

    _____________________________


    SHOPPING MATH




    A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

    A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

    _____________________________


    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS




    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    _____________________________


    HAPPINESS




    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

    ______________________________


    LONGEVITY




    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

    ______________________________


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE




    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

    _____________________________


    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE




    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    _____________________________



    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.