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Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by itisbruno, May 11, 2012.
In fact, the(se) United States once had a Constitution...
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... and we'll take over Tousutopia just like the first rabbit wave did!
May I congratulate you and your kind, sir, for the most impressive statue of Bugs Bunny you have erected in the capital square.
May I humbly suggest Overture, Curtains, Lights as an anthem?
The strategically placed carrot is a notable statue feature.
Attention, fellow scholars.
It has come to my attention that due to my advanced age and enormous store of facts and wisdom that daily threaten to overflow my enviable brain, I may appear, to some, to be absent-minded.
I assure you, my friends, that nothing could be further from the truth -- well, almost nothing. For example, Cincinatti is further from the truth, but I digress. When I leave a room or building, I egress. When I don my clothing each morn, I get dressed, which can be condensed to a simple 'gress.' Thus, digress has a different meaning. 'di' meaning two and 'gress' meaning to don clothing.
You may wonder why am I wearing Don's clothing and why, based on the recently discovered meaning for digress as a perfectly useful substitute for get dressed, if, in my case, I am putting on Don's clothes twice or putting on clothing from two Don's once.
I shall leave the most obvious conclusion to the razor-sharp and ever-reliable ratiocination prevalent amongst the associates of and and contributors to this most excellent thread.
Which brings us to the purpose of this entry: just where is the carrot in the Bugs Bunny statue?
I remain your humble servant.
Youse guys crack me up
Duck Tape and Bondo will fix ya right up, amigo.
Which causes one to wonder, if itisbruno can be cracked up, what other vectors are available for the cracking event? Can he be cracked down? Cracked to either side? Perhaps he can be cracked in place with no direction, simply a magnitude.
My fellows, I propose an experiment. We capture itisbruno, place him a controlled enviroment, thoroughly instrument him and attempt to crack him in a direction other than up.
I shall, as always, bring the chili dogs as a break-from-cracking-itisbruno snack. It will likely be a long night. That leaves someone else to bring the SPAM, Fritos and lemonade.
To find the carrot in the statue, you must develop a "feel" for it.
May I beg your kind and generous leave to send Peace Warrior in to test this posit?
If there are kersplosions or the sudden appearance of sharp, pointy things I would prefer to observe remotely.
Those things can take your eye out if you're not careful.
Equipped with Craftsman eye protection, and after diligently searching the entire area down under, I was only able to locate a bunch of costumes, which notably had a bunch of rabbit fur inside them, and something that resembled a rose bud, but nary a carrot my good man.
With this unsolved mystery properly divined and now forthwith an unriddle, I must take my leave in order to both squeeze some fresh lemonade and finish my haberdasher work before it gets too dark outside.
This is the best!
Sources confirm that a man in Colorado has been officially and formally reprimanded by his workplace supervisor for acts of flatulence (i.e., farting) while in the work place.
Records indicate that co-workers have been lodging complaints about the gaseous filled worker ever since he started with the company. After 29 years of offending co-workers at the office, the employee has been formally reprimanded this week.
When reached for comment, the supervisor initiating the reprimand, who had just been promoted to the higher position within the last week, advised that something finally had to be done about an employee whom had caused years upon years of disturbance at their workplace.
When ask to elaborate, the supervisor advised that the employee was made aware that no one would have cared about the common, loud iron skillet farts that can occur in any typical office setting, but some of his farts sounded like they were echoing off cast iron man hole covers.
Moreover, it was made known to the employee that everyone understands that a bullet-fart will creep into the workplace now and again, but then quickly dissipate; however, his numerous burnt clutch plate farts, and burning brake farts have forced the staff into only using artificial plants near his cubicle.
Additionally, I told the employee that even management understood a Popcorn Machine fart or two during the day, but due to the echo effect from the work place cubicles, both his Arkansas Barking Spider farts and his Chinese Firecracker farts makes all the veterans in the office jump for cover or hit the floor thinking they are once again being ambushed by insurgents firing multiple AK-47s.
Lastly, I reminded him that his idea of bringing a fan to the office only exasperated the problem. Also, his continued excuses, such as "playing the buttocks bassoon," "floating an air biscuit," "getting expelled from stool," "killing a canary," "letting Freddy out of jail," "roaring from the rear," "stepping on a duck," "tooting my own horn" and or "just following orders from Colonel Bowel" were not the proper way to deal with a serious problem.
The supervisor went on to add that now he now has 14 days in which to seek a medical evaluation in order to have the reprimand removed from his file.
Bud Haggart, who was Dodge Motors' chief research and development mechanic during the 70's, whom some long term Dodge executives also say was instrumental in winning Dodge Motors the coveted Drive Train of the Year award one year in a row over the period of 1976 to 1976, is still missing after parachuting out of a Goodyear blimp over the New Year's football weekend.
Once being highly applauded for his inventing the technologically advanced "Turbo Incabulator," he later lived as a recluse only coming outside for skydiving junkets or to collect his mail. Although the Turbo Incabulator never sold too well in the united States to the general public, the US Military awarded Dodge Motors a multibillion dollar contract for use of the device in almost all of its vehicles overseas which also required the utilization of Dodge's nover trunnions.
Many people do not know that Bud also successfully sued the C. W. Post cereal company for false advertising in 1979. He did so based on the fact that the company's much touted Grape Nuts Cereal, which he had eaten for years since a child, contains neither grapes, nor nuts in the box.
Bud, as his friends called him, or Mr. Haggart, as he demanded his subordinates call him, was a long time and avid skydiver. He is credited with making numerous skydives wearing only tennis shoes and a top hat.
Due to an onset of photophobia later in his life, there are no current graphic images available of Mr. Haggart; however, the Police have been distributing his old Dodge Motor's commercial to the public in hope of some help in finding him safe.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7G7xOG2Ag"]"Turbo Encabulator" the Original - YouTube[/ame]
If you see this man, do NOT try to apprehend him, but please just call 1-555-555-5555.
Tous has discovered that Mrs. VR. did not actually get her big internet start in porn, but in fact, she became an online debutante by way of an upstart website known as S&WTalk.com., which a lot of people who had recently been discharged from A.O.L. errantly thought had porn site implications.
Science is oft imprecise and messy.
As long as the truth comes out eventually, those toes that may have been accidentally trod upon need to stop crying, "Wee! Weee! Weee!" all the way home and be proud that they are the metatarsals that contributed to the total of knowledge.
Toes, I salute you!
As for Mrs. VR, I first encountered the titian-haired goddess on an early web site dedicated to recording annual snowfall in the greater Washington, D.C. area. Her work is still considered ground-breaking.
Tous, you left me hanging on the other thread there butt-wipe! ....
It's all Samurai Rabbit's fault.
I am innocent!
Those dang samurai rabbits!
We should hunt them rabbits down and make good luck charms outta the lot of them!
Let's see 'em cause trouble with no feet!
Brings back memories of the first Muppet Movie, with its French Home For Legless Frogs. Oh, the cruelty!