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Letter home

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Mar 3, 2009.


  1. okie

    okie
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    GT Mayor

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    64,670
    1,525
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Dear Parent(s), Date:
    I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of
    interest to both of us.
    Please send me:
    __ Money (Cash) Amount: _____
    __ Food (Cookies) Dozens: _____
    __ Clean clothes!
    Relationships:
    __ What?
    __ I am in love with myself.
    __ I am in love!
    __ I am engaged.
    __ I got married last weekend.
    My Roommate:
    __ Worships the ground I walk on.
    __ Gave me a black eye.
    __ Committed suicide and left a note blaming me.
    __ Has fleas.
    My Professors are:
    __ Sadistic water walkers.
    __ Mental institution escapees.
    __ Brain dead nerds.
    __ Super oxygen thieves.
    Latest News:
    __ I wrecked the car.
    __ I can't use your credit card because I exceeded the credit limit.
    __ You are going to have a grandchild.
    __ False alarm--you aren't going to have a grandchild.
    Food:
    __ Is great!
    __ Even makes me appreciate your cooking
    __ I have had pizzas and soda for the last twenty meals.
    __ I stopped eating out of fear.
    Grades:
    __ I am making all A's
    __ I am not being properly challenged
    __ I will be home after this semester
    __ I never knew they had a letter grade below F
    I study:
    __ Night and day
    __ All the time
    __ Eighty hours a week
    __ Only on Sunday afternoon
    __ None of the above
    Daily Devotions:
    __ I read my Bible everyday
    __ I can't read
    __ Someone stole my Bible while I was at the local bar
    On my last visit home, I left:
    __ My glasses.
    __ My paper that was due yesterday.
    __ The clothes you washed for me.
    __ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment.
    __ Other ____________________________.
    Please send above items by FedEx (Priority One) or UPS (Blue).
    Laundry:
    __ My white underwear is now _______.
    __ I am saving money by not using detergent.
    __ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester.
    __ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains.
    My room:
    __ Can pass your "white glove" test.
    __ Is only ___% full.
    __ Could not be located last Saturday night.
    __ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training.
    Parties:
    __ I don't inhale
    __ I only go to meet people
    __ Haven't been to one since this morning.
    Hope you:
    __ Miss me
    __ Can live without me
    __ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence
    Salutation:
    __ Your Daughter,
    __ Your Son,
    __ Yours,