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# Laws

Discussion in 'OX & Alex Forum' started by Dinky, Nov 14, 2012.

1. ### DinkyNumpty

9,706
17
May 22, 2003

1Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.

6.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7.
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

10.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11..
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14.
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

16.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking --A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!!!

18.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19.
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

2. ### BullmanDeranged Deputy

13,108
184
Oct 11, 2003
SW Virginia
the law of mechanical repair and the law of dusting for fingerprints are most similar.

3. ### kirgi08Watcher.Silver Member

35,253
4,136
Jun 4, 2007
Acme proving grounds.
W3RD,how long that take Mike?,musta been numerous interuptions.'08.

3,649
346
Jul 8, 2012
Texas
Nice.

5. ### BullmanDeranged Deputy

13,108
184
Oct 11, 2003
SW Virginia
I am betting it was a copy and paste job.

9,706
17
May 22, 2003

9,706
17
May 22, 2003

See Law #5

Mar 26, 2005
Northern CO
9. ### kirgi08Watcher.Silver Member

35,253
4,136
Jun 4, 2007
Acme proving grounds.
Get'm girl.'08.

14,709
156
May 20, 2005
God's BEAUTIFUL World
Very good, Dinky, AND absolutely the TRUTH!!!!

Last edited: Nov 17, 2012
11. ### scratchy wilsonSilver Member

Jun 25, 2005
Cole's Law

Thinly sliced cabbage.

12. ### kirgi08Watcher.Silver Member

35,253
4,136
Jun 4, 2007
Acme proving grounds.
And corned beef.'08.

Jun 25, 2005
FEAST! Jes!

14. ### tousGET A ROPE!

31,737
28,448
Jan 7, 2001
Plano, Texas, Republic of
Roger's cookin' supper for us all!

15. ### kirgi08Watcher.Silver Member

35,253
4,136
Jun 4, 2007
Acme proving grounds.
Youse all gonna lose weight then,I gotta work 16hrs on T-day.Mom is Wife is and I ain't got no choice.Hours are hard ta come by.They get ta I gotta work.'08.

3,111
128
May 17, 2002