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Laws

Discussion in 'OX & Alex Forum' started by Dinky, Nov 14, 2012.

  1. Dinky

    Dinky Numpty

    9,706
    17
    May 22, 2003

    1Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.


    2.
    Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.


    3.
    Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


    4.
    Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.

    6.
    Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).


    7.
    Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


    8.
    Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


    9.
    Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!


    10.
    Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


    11..
    Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.


    12.
    The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


    13.
    Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


    14.
    Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.


    15.
    Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.


    16.
    Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

    17.
    Oliver's Law of Public Speaking --A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!!!


    18.
    Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


    19.
    Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
     
  2. Bullman

    Bullman Deranged Deputy

    13,072
    149
    Oct 11, 2003
    SW Virginia
    the law of mechanical repair and the law of dusting for fingerprints are most similar.
     


  3. kirgi08

    kirgi08 Watcher. Silver Member

    34,334
    3,519
    Jun 4, 2007
    Acme proving grounds.
    W3RD,how long that take Mike?,musta been numerous interuptions.'08. :whistling:
     
  4. Bullman

    Bullman Deranged Deputy

    13,072
    149
    Oct 11, 2003
    SW Virginia
    I am betting it was a copy and paste job.
     
  5. Dinky

    Dinky Numpty

    9,706
    17
    May 22, 2003


    :rofl:
     
  6. Dinky

    Dinky Numpty

    9,706
    17
    May 22, 2003

    See Law #5 :rofl:
     
  7. BabyTaz

    BabyTaz Mrs Codivecop

    2,365
    0
    Mar 26, 2005
    Northern CO
  8. kcb

    kcb Southern Lady

    14,684
    130
    May 20, 2005
    God's BEAUTIFUL World
    Very good, Dinky, AND absolutely the TRUTH!!!! :wavey: :hugs:

    :rofl: :hugs:
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2012
  9. kirgi08

    kirgi08 Watcher. Silver Member

    34,334
    3,519
    Jun 4, 2007
    Acme proving grounds.
  10. scratchy wilson

    scratchy wilson Silver Member

    1,025
    5
    Jun 25, 2005
    FEAST! Jes!
     
  11. tous

    tous GET A ROPE!

    30,341
    25,124
    Jan 7, 2001
    Plano, Texas, Republic of
    Roger's cookin' supper for us all! :dancingbanana:
     
  12. kirgi08

    kirgi08 Watcher. Silver Member

    34,334
    3,519
    Jun 4, 2007
    Acme proving grounds.
    Youse all gonna lose weight then,I gotta work 16hrs on T-day.Mom is :rant: Wife is :psycho: and I ain't got no choice.Hours are hard ta come by.They get ta :eat: I gotta work.'08. :sad:
     
  13. HandyMan Hugh

    HandyMan Hugh NRA Life Member

    3,036
    69
    May 17, 2002
    Hallstead, PA
    Nicely done Dinky.

    Here's one more that you can add for the next edition.

    Murphy's Law of Extreme Sufficiency.

    If a little is good, then more is better, then too much is just perfect. Go for the biggest hammer that you can lift!