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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Lance Boils, Apr 26, 2003.

  1. A seven-year-old boy and his four-year-old brother were upstairs in their bedroom.

    "You know what?" said the seven year old. "I think it's about time we
    start swearing."

    The four year old nodded his head in approval.

    "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say hell, and you say ass, okay?"

    The four year old agreed with enthusiasm.

    The mother walked into the kitchen and asked the seven year old what he wanted for breakfast.

    "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."


    He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the floor, got up and ran
    upstairs crying his eyes out.

    The mother looked at the four year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do you want for breakfast, young man?"

    "I don't know," he blubbered, "but you can bet your sweet ass it won't be Cheerios!"
  2. 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

    2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

    3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
    whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's
    workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

    4. Enjoy the simple things.

    5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

    6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
    with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

    7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
    keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

    8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
    improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

    9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

    10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
    moments that take our breath away.