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I'm not drunk

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by 1955mercury, Apr 6, 2012.

  1. 1955mercury


    Nov 30, 2011
    I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else...

    After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

    I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

    Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

    I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

    I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

    I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

    I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

    Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

    When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I hadall the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

    I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.

    I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.