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If the phone company ran a resturant

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jun 19, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    64,670
    1,525
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    If The Phone Company Ran A Restaurant
    =======================================

    BELLSOUTH DINER
    1515 Peachtree St.
    Atlanta, GA 30399
    800-555-1212

    SERVICES

    Cod steak: $8.17
    French fries: $2.01
    Peas: $1.40

    Limited Meal Service: $30.85

    Knife: $0.60 Fork: $3.17 Metal Cutlery with Handles:
    $6.20 Table
    Access Charge: $1.19 Chair Maintenance Plan: $2.95
    Menu Listing Service: $0.49
    Bell Atlantic Condiments and Sauces (detail below):
    $1.11

    Federal Fish Tax: $0.62
    Local Menu Readability: $0.23
    Chair-Falling-Over Insurance: $2.78

    TOTAL: $61.77

    Itemized Condiments and Sauces:
    With Limited Meal Service you pay a fixed nightly rate
    for air
    and water at your table. Note: Save 40% on air after
    11pm.
    Consult your menu for condiment and sauce rates.

    Item Number of ml Rate per ml Amount
    Ketchup 10 0.03 0.30
    Salt 10 .01 0.01
    Tartar 20 0.04 0.80
    Total 1.11

    Rest Room Usage:
    #1 .10 per use (urinal)
    #2 .25 per use (commode)
    Note: Due to the non-discriminatory policy, women are
    charged
    the #2 commode rate for #1.

    Deodorizer for #2 use: .10
    Hand Wash .02
    Hand Dry (Paper Towel) .03
    Hand Dry (Blower) .01
    Mirror Use .01
    Note: Tuesdays and Thursdays are "Bring a friend free"
    to the
    restroom days. All other days accompanying friends
    .25.

    Optional Spill and Breakage Coverage:
    With the optional 2.95 spill and breakage coverage, if
    you spill
    or break anything, you will be covered and there will
    be no
    additional cost to you. Otherwise, spill cleanup will
    be billed
    at standard union rates and dishes charged at normal
    Bell South
    prices.
     
  2. potshot

    potshot

    199
    0
    Mar 31, 2002
    Yo Dude, You got that right! Don't forget the $75 per 15 min. interval for the wait staff to greet and seat you.;f