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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, May 21, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Subject: This Will Make You Feel Better

    IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He suggested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

    IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

    IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there

    IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had

    IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

    IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the
    buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,
    she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

    IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to "down sizing", our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the
    passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discover that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
  2. Drachen27


    Feb 18, 2002
    Ontario, NY
    One of the questions on the from filled out before donating blood is "have you ever given money for sex".

    I asked the nurse reviewing my form if buying a new dress for my wife counted.

    The nurse said she didn't know, but could find out for me. She almost didn't let me donate that day.