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Idiots, idiots..... idiots everywhere.....

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by MB-G26, May 30, 2002.


  1. MB-G26

    MB-G26
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    Bk2MiscResource
    Lifetime Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2001
    6,947
    1,100
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    Missing Sharon
    IDIOTS IN SERVICE:

    This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

    IDIOTS AT WORK:

    I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

    When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

    IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

    IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #1:

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
    To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
    He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

    IDIOT SIGHTING #2:

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

    IDIOT SIGHTING #3:

    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #4:

    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #5:

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

    "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
    An oldie but goodie...
    m