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Humor: Marine Corps Entrance Exam

Discussion in 'Veteran's Forum' started by GreenBeret1631, Mar 9, 2005.

    Time Limit: 3 Weeks
    Name: _____________________________
    Signature: _____________________________
    1. What language is spoken in France?

    2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

    3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to? (check only one)
    ___ (a) build a bridge
    ___ (b) sail the ocean
    ___ (c) lead an army or
    ___ (D) WRITE A PLAY!!!!

    4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Jewish
    ___ (b) Catholic
    ___ (c) Hindu
    ___ (d) Polish
    ___ (e) Agnostic
    ___ (f) Muslim
    ___ (g) Irish
    ___ (h) Buddhist
    ___ (i) Protestant
    ___ (j) Italian
    ___ (k) Southern Baptist

    5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

    6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

    7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

    8. What are people in America's far north called? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Westerners
    ___ (b) Southerners
    ___ (c) Northerners

    9. Spell: Bush, Carter, and Clinton (please print)
    Bush : _________________________________________
    Carter : _________________________________________
    Clinton: _________________________________________

    10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five:

    11. Where does rain come from? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Macy's
    ___ (b) a 7-11
    ___ (c) Canada
    ___ (d) the sky (clouds)

    12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (check only one)
    ___ (a) yes
    ___ (b) no

    13. What are coat hangers used for?

    14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?

    15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS (please print).

    16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

    17. Which part of America produces the most oranges (check only one)?
    ___ (a) New York
    ___ (b) Florida
    ___ (c) Canada
    ___ (d) Wisconsin

    18. Basic Math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?

    19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?

    20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
    ___ (a) B.C.
    ___ (b) A.D.

    21. What Does the NAVY do? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Sail the seven seas and play with inflatable dolls
    ___ (b) Haul Marines to various fight locations around the world!
    ___ (c) All of the above

    22. Who is the current President of the United States of America? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Usama bin Laden
    ___ (b) Jimmy Carter
    ___ (c) Ronald Reagan
    ___ (d) General George C, Patton
    ___ (e) Adolf Hitler
    ___ (f) GEORGE W. BUSH

    23. Where do most Marines receive their basic training? (check only one)
    ___ (a) The White House
    ___ (b) Camp David
    ___ (c) Disneyland
    ___ (d) Nixon's Library
    ___ (e) Watergate Hotel
    ___ (f) Santa's Lodge at the North Pole
    ___ (g) Parris Island South Carolina

    24. Joining the Marines is better than:
    ___ (a) Joining the Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, or Navy
    ___ (b) Having SEX

    25. You are in a Bar and someone insults the Marine Corp., YOU should:
    ___ (a) Go home immediately and tell your Mother
    ___ (b) Follow tradition and kick the crap out of them

    26. As a Marine you will be expected to:
    ___ (a) Die for your country
    ___ (b) Call your mommy when you get hurt

    27. There are three (3) branches to the United States Government, they are (check only one):
    ___ (a) Executive, Legislative, and Judicial
    ___ (b) Army, Navy, Marines
    ___ (c) White, Black, and Hispanic
    ___ (d) Protestant, Jewish, and Catholic

    28. D.I. stands for (check only one):
    ___ (a) Drill Instructor
    ___ (b) Dickwad Inventor
    ___ (c) Down In
    ___ (d) D-Day Invasion

    29. Advanced Math: You have one pound of Grapes. How many pounds of grapes do you have?

    30. If I am masturbating, then I am:
    ___ Jerking Off
    ___ Playing with my Wang
    ___ Straightening My Pole
    ___ Flexing my lower muscles

    31. **** Packing is for:
    ___ Queers
    ___ Babes who like it up the ass
    ___ Sailors

    32. Underage Girls and Marines mean:
    ___ (a) Trouble
    ___ (b) Angry Fathers
    ___ (c) Shotgun Weddings
    ___ (d) Statutory Rape Charges unless your in the deep south
    ___ (e) All of the above

    33. There are only two things that come from Oklahoma, Steers and Queers:
    ___ I agree
    ___ I do not agree

    34. In war, I must (check as many as apply):
    ___ Kill the enemy, my creed will be one shot, one kill
    ___ Yell out, "Hey ya all want to surrender?"
    ___ Take NO Prisoners, kill them all, let God sort them out later

    Test Notations:
    * You must correctly answer five (5) or more questions to qualify.

    * If you are stuck on any questions, you may ask the monitor for help.

    * Cheating is not tolerated but may be overlooked if YOU currently have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger when he won the Mr. Universe Contest.

    * If you brought your dog or horse with you, please don't bring it into the test room, tie it up outside.

    Important Test Note: We would appreciate it if you would NOT Jerk Off
    during the test.
  2. gruntmedik

    gruntmedik Honk Honk CLM

    Jan 2, 2005
    Taylorsville, KY
    Pretty good one. I notice, using my extrodinary powers of deduction, that you are/were Army. Trouble with the exam? hehehe We're all there to accomplish the same objective.

    "To locate, close with, and destroy the enemy by fire and manuever, or repel the enemies assault by fire and close combat." Mission of the Marine Rifle Squad.

  3. rlbgfish173


    Sep 7, 2003
    ;z ;z ;z

    Cute, I'll give this to a Buddy of mine:)


    Jun 28, 2002
    Tacoma, Washington
    LMAO.....that's hilarious.
  5. Luke77

    Luke77 "Get Some!"

    Aug 17, 2004
  6. reconvic

    reconvic Recon Marine

    Feb 27, 2005
    Mesa, Az.
    Bro that on is one we can chuckle at for sure.
    ;f [​IMG]
    My Recon Team (Snakey)