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How To Know When Foods Are Finished

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Nov 27, 2006.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    ICE CREAM:
    If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.

    FROZEN FOODS:
    Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

    EGGS:
    When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

    DAIRY PRODUCTS:
    Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage Cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway - if you can dig down and still find something non-green, bon appetite!

    MEAT:
    If opening the refrigerator causes stray animals from a three block radius to congregate outside your house, toss the meat.

    UNMARKED ITEMS:
    You know it is well beyond prime when you've tempted to discard the Tupperware along with food.

    CANNED GOODS:
    Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of...V-e-r-y carefully.

    POTATOES:
    Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

    CEREAL:
    It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date, or when itwill no longer fall out of the box itself.

    FLOUR:
    Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly out when you open it.

    RAISINS:
    Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth.
     
  2. DriBak

    DriBak GUNS UP Millennium Member

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  3. Caliper

    Caliper

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    If you can't tell if it is meat or cake it is time to toss it out...
     
  4. SmilingOtter

    SmilingOtter

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    There is no known navy blue food.
     
  5. JMag

    JMag

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    Blue suede shoes might get tasty if that's all you have on your boat lost at sea and hungry...

    :supergrin:
     
  6. geminicricket

    geminicricket NRA Life member

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    Listening to my wife prepare a meal tends to discourage eating.


    Just about always the sound of her vomiting comes from the little powder room which is downstairs and near the kitchen.
     
  7. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

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