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How To Annoy People

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by kentley, May 30, 2002.


  1. kentley

    kentley
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    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2002
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    1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

    2. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sensual massage."

    3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.

    5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

    6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

    7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

    8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

    9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.

    10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

    11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

    12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

    13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.

    14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

    15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

    17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

    18. Honk and wave to strangers.

    19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

    20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

    21. type only in lowercase.

    22. don t use any punctuation either

    23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

    24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

    25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

    26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

    27. Ask people what gender they are.

    28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

    29. Sit in your yard pointing a hair drier at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    30. Sing along at the opera.

    31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

    32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

    33. TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!
     

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  2. PACKIN' PLASTIC

    PACKIN' PLASTIC
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    4,500+ posts

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  3. AC37

    AC37
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    SystemicAnomaly

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2000
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    Provo, UT
    Wander into Cop Talk and make insulting remarks towards cops in general.

    Then start a thead in GNG apologizing for said mistake, letting everyone know about a previously minor incident.

    Couldn't resist...;a ;f
     
  4. MB-G26

    MB-G26
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    Bk2MiscResource
    Lifetime Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2001
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    Then keep coming back again in the same threads and keep it up.
    m
    Couldn't resist, either :)
     
  5. master tigon

    master tigon
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    to deep for you

    Joined:
    May 21, 2002
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    Location:
    back in CT.shoot me!
    then apologize and repeat steps one and two
     
  6. vega

    vega
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    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2001
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    Location:
    SoCal
    Could you just quit the BS and tell us how!

    vega
     
  7. ODogg84

    ODogg84
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    gL0cK 26

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2001
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    Austin, TX
    not a good idea, someone i know did that and they hackets his computer and he lost everything...heh