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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 15, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    64,670
    1,525
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

    Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

    Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

    Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

    Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

    Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

    Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.

    Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths of luminescence.

    Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull,or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

    Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

    Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change

    Amish: What's a light bulb?