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Hilarious Idiot Hunt Happenings!

Discussion in 'Hunting, Fishing & Camping' started by CanyonMan, Dec 5, 2003.

  1. CanyonMan

    CanyonMan In The Saddle

    Jul 26, 2002
    I had nothing going on tonight, and was thinking about some of the really hilarios stupid things i've encountered over the years, (by others), There is ,"NO WAY," I can remotetly share them all, they are 'almost endless', trust me. But, i though i wouuld give a couple of the "highlights."

    Feel free, just for fun here, to share with us some of the crazy things you have seen the "idoit" hunters do, You know, those guys that come out of the cracks of the wall, 'just during the hunting season.'

    i'll give only three, i'll try to cut them short.

    A friend of mine, here out west, caught me one day and said , "man listen to this.." he siad, " i was going by he "x" named ranch, and i saw a car sitting on the road near the cattle guard with the trunk lid open, i noticed the plates were not from anywhere near this state,
    (we were in the panhandle of Oklahoma.) well, he stopped to tell them to scram, cause no one had rights to hunt there etc.. there were several men standing there looking in the trunk and really looked happy! he said he stopped, and said 'what are you guys up to?' they replied. 'we have been turkey hunting, and been very successful.'

    Before he told them to 'beat it', he looked in the truck, and saw that they had shot three, "TURKEY BUZZARDS!" They told him... "these "hens" were just standing in the pasture, like ducks in a barrel, and they blew them away." they were very eager to get back to "where ever they came from," and enjoy their tasty game!" My friend congratulated them, and encourged them to get them cleaned, and "dig in!" :)

    #2.. Some guys from the big city, (no slur on you friends who live in the city, i mean that now!), they were driving our country roads stopping at different ranch houses to ask if they could quail hunt on said property, a friend of mine's grandma, gave these boys the OK!

    When they cane out several hours later, they stopped, and kindly offered granny to come out to the car and see all their game, and thank her, and "offer her" some of the quail, (just to be nice). They opened the tow sacks they had the birds in, and she took a look, and said, "you boys worked hard, you keep them, but thanks anyway.."

    THEY WERE "ALL" MEADOW LARKS! (realize, on the okla. kansas border), Meadow Larks are thick as bricks, being the Kansas state bird!!

    #3..."Last one.." I was 'ordered' (by a particular ranch owner), to guide some 'big boys' from a certain city,'on a deer hunt on the ranch i coyboyed on 'at the time', and as i was taking them to the places i wanted to put them, they saw a ton of 'domestic hog tracks', that had got out of the pens, out there on the ranch, (long story). They "insisted" on following those tracks, to get their buck.. i could not resist.. so i told them, 'man, that is what i would do!" :) Fortunately, they did not shoot any hogs, and i did not get fired!

    Well, i got a cajillion of these, but just for the heck of it, and to break up some of the discouragement, and bummed out feelings some of you, my dear hunting brothers, Here on GT, have gone through the last few days, (according to your post), i thought perhaps to lighten up things a bit, might be a little different!

    God Bless y'all.. And good hunting!

    Let's here from you!

  2. ROFLMAO on #1.

    I whent our once in the field hunting quail and ran across a younger quail hunter and he told me & my dad that he flush and kill about 5 quail in half a day.

    My dad looked at his game bag and he had nothing but Eastern Meadlow Larks. I wouldn't call him a "Idiot" ( he honesty didn't know ) and we explain the difference and that the larks flushs kinda like a quail but loves to sit on tree branchs or fence posts and that if you see anything with a yellow breast, most likely it is not a quail.;f

  3. I saw a guy try and check in a Buzzard at Quantico MCB and claim it was a Turkey. Base Game Warden was there (it's illeagl to shoot them). But he let him belive it was a turkey and they went on their way. Warden was laughing his but off when they left.

    The other funny one I got happened when I was in the Army. I came home on leave to go deer hunting with my dad. He had to work so I went out with a friend of his who had been hunting for over 30 years and never shot a deer. When we got up in the morning to go hunting he handed me a skein of pink yarn so I could "Find my way back" I thought he ment to tie little pieces on branches every so often. Nope his hunting method was to tie the piece of yarn onto the door of his cabin and walk until he go to the end of his string (maybe 100 yards and still within sight of his cabin.) he would then sit down and hunt (for an hour or so) and go back to the cabin to warm up.

    I truly believe the only reason he went hunting was to get away from his wife for a few days.
  4. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

    Jun 5, 2002
    North Dakota
    This was a number of years ago, in north central ND, goose hunting season. A few guys were in the bar early afternoon, bemoaning their hunt because no one had seen any geese. The warden was there, too. Another guy comes in, happy as all get out, saying he got his limit. Confused, they all went out to look at his birds. The warden had to explain that he was looking at a mighty hefty fine, since he had gotten several Swan. ;Q Clue: Geese honk, swan don't. Here's your sign...

    Edited to add: Maybe this shouldn't have been posted under the hilarious title..
  5. f1b32oPTic

    f1b32oPTic R4d104c71v3

    Aug 5, 2003
    up close & personal
    this just happened to me yesterday on public land..

    i went in about a 1/4-1/2miles into gamelands and set up my stand were i had seen a couple of does early in the season...i got to my spot and found the same 18" pine that i had climbed and hunted out of the last time.

    well i started climbing at about 1:00pm i got to about 30ft and felt good enough but i saw the stand marks in the tree from the previous time i wentwere about 5-6 feet higher, so i made my way up about 5 more feet and got settles in.

    about 4:00pm i hear something approaching from way behind my stand so i swivel around and as i did i took my boots off of the foot climber which then promptly slid back down the tree about 20 feet below me.
    it was going to be dark in an hour and my buddy was about 1/4 mile away from where i was so at 4pm i had started hollering for him to help me...well eventually he heard me at the top of my lungs and thought i had fallen out of the tree. well when he got there, he had to use his climber to bring my bottom half back up to me...

    i was utterly embarrased and apologized for screwing up a hunt...well when we got back, i never heard the end of it. jokes and the cracks and whatnot. the roomamtes where rofl.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: always connect the bottom half of your climber to the top half
  6. riddleofsteel

    riddleofsteel Pulpa est valeo

    May 24, 2002
    above ground
    About five years ago I had set up a hunting trip with three friends of mine. We were going to ride out to a local game lands and stand hunt in the morning and conduct some drives during the middle of the day. We all met at my house and I had some breakfast cooked up to eat before we left. One of the guys was late and by the time we were getting to the game land area it was already light.
    About three miles from our hunting area one of the guys announced he had to use the bathroom. He kept insisting that if we did not stop that his hunting clothes would not of much use that day because he was going to soil them. Eventually we pulled over near a creek and bridge. As he jumped out of the Blazer he grabbed his lever action 30-30, some paper and went under the bridge. After about 5 minutes with the sun getting higher every minute we heard a huge BOOOOOMMMM.
    I just knew he had shot himself but I hear this loud shout; GOT HIM!!

    It seems he was under the bridge with his pants down around his ankles when a nice little buck appeared in the brush across the creek. Not having time to even pull his pants up he had levered a round into the chamber and fired, killing the little buck in one shot. We could not believe it until we all went across the bridge and recovered his deer. While he finished his "business."

    We still rib him about his "crappy" style of hunting. Goes to show you though; Never get very far from your rifle during legal hunting time.
  7. CanyonMan

    CanyonMan In The Saddle

    Jul 26, 2002

    So for, a am having a great time here!
    Personally, i 'needed' a few laughs... y'all are truly supplying them!
    "ALL" the stories here are great! The cool thing about it all is that we can all use these different stories to talk about around the fireplace to other buddies as well... These are great! Thanks for sharing.

    Keep 'em coming!

  8. f1b32oPTic

    f1b32oPTic R4d104c71v3

    Aug 5, 2003
    up close & personal
    its all good though, all the guys that gave me crap about dropping my stand the other day got taken to the cleaners by yours truly shooting skeet today... i couldnt miss today!

    redemption is SWEEET
  9. onemilmhz

    onemilmhz Ten Ninety Five

    Jun 25, 2003
    Georgia on my mind
    There are other reasons to go hunting?!? ;e
  10. CanyonMan

    CanyonMan In The Saddle

    Jul 26, 2002

    Uh HUH, There ya go Hoss!
    What goes around, comes around! :)

    Hang in there!... LITERALLY!... Could not resist that! :)
  11. f1b32oPTic,

    Count yourself lucky.

    A lady that hunts out of the same camp with my dad dislocated her shoulder and got hung upside down by her safety belt when her stand slid down the tree. Luckily she had a radio in her pack which she pulled up with her one good arm and her teeth.

    Of course after all the ribbing she shot a nice fork horn buck a couple of days later.
  12. jchast

    jchast Draw Yer Gun!

    Sep 23, 2003
    Western PA
    This happened to my girlfriends sisters boyfriend (John) this year on my property during the 2nd day of rifle season. I live on a fairly large farm my father owns and John brought his sportsman 700 out to use to get around and drag in his deer if he got one. Perfectly fine by me since I use mine. Well, there is an area that I asked him to avoid because there were some nice sized holes dug for perk testing (septic testing) since I was going to build a house in that area... well, he didn't listen and drove through that area... put his atv nose first into a perk test hole and went flying off the atv. Got his rifle stuck muzzle first in the mud and rang his bell pretty good for him. I was already in the woods so he called me on the radio and I had to winch his sportsman out with my Kodiak. Im glad he didn't get hurt.

  13. CanyonMan

    CanyonMan In The Saddle

    Jul 26, 2002

    "LOL"..... "or" ... Moral... "Keep your nose out of other peoples septic tanks!"

  14. Glockerel

    Glockerel Got Mojo?

    Speaking of Crappy....
    My roommate in college and I were hunting in Western Wi. After having been a victim of "overservice" in a bar the night before, Tim went out hunting quite bleary the next morning, which for him, came quite early.
    Feeling nature's call, he walked a few hundred yards from his spot. He found a tree, dropped his pants, leaned against the tree, and released the dead otter.
    He then walked back and continued hunting.
    That evening, we were back in the bar. After several rounds, there were these two guys at the bar giving my buddy Tim dirty looks. I figured we were pissing the locals off and were gonna have to settle this outside. Tim goes up to order more beverages and asks the guy if there is a problem. The guy looks at Tim and says "F'n right there's a problem. I watched you walk all the way across the field, stop and take a crap at the foot of the tree my stand is in. Then I watched you walk all the way back to your spot." Tim was speechless.
    Tim was also quite embarrassed, bought these guys beers and all was forgiven. They were nice guys and we all laughed our butts off.
  15. f1b32oPTic

    f1b32oPTic R4d104c71v3

    Aug 5, 2003
    up close & personal
    that is too funny!
  16. allhowl


    Dec 16, 2001
    NE Okla.
    Was hunting deer in an area that also had elk which could be taken in lieu of a buck. This was a shotgun only area-way back in the early 70s. Anyway my brother in law & I were walking into the area just at daybreak & saw a herd of elk running about 200 yds from us to some timber. As we walked to where they had run, we saw a hunter who was asleep against a tree where the elk had run by him at about 20yds. Had he been awake he could have had an easy shot.

    So when we got clser to him I asked him how long he had been there. He said "Been here way before dawn and I haven't seen squat and I must have just fallen asleep a few minutes ago." He stood up with shotgun at his side & we asked him if he had just seen all the elk that ran bye him just a few minutes ago? He raised his shotgun to his shoulder and pointed it out in front of him like theey were there and said "WHERE"? Told him if they had been within range we would have taken them by now. There are some real idiots out there. Be careful of them.
  17. skfullgun


    Jul 4, 2003
    Houston, Texas
    Glokerel...that was too, too funny. I'm still laughing at the thought of your friend taking a dump under those guy's stand!
  18. elfjr


    Jun 24, 2003
    West Virginia
    I was 15 years old and I went deer hunting with my uncle. We were in Ohio and could shoot either sex. Not beeing picky and having never shot a deer we were eager to blast the first deer we saw. (not trigger happy, just ready to take what ever deer that presented it's self. We Jumped a deer from a pine thicket and it was running broadside at about 30 yards. I pumped 3 shots at that deer with my winchester 1300 and on the 3rd shot the deer fell. We ran up to it and it was still flopping around. My uncle asks "can i finish it?" I said sure assuming he would take a neck shot or a heart shot. But instead he takes a headshot!(3inch 12ga slug) Keep in mind we are standing right over it. We were covered in blood, brain matter, and skull. We dressed the deer and took it to check it in. You should have seen the people at the checking station we show up all messy with skull, and brain in our hair and all over us, with a nearly headless deer. This was my first deer and had wanted to get it mounted but i didn't get mad since it was only a button buck.

    Man this was 10 times more funny than can be put in words. The looks on peoples faces were just priceless.
  19. NugeRocks

    NugeRocks The Nuge

    Oct 20, 2001

    Yup, spoken like a true West Virginian;f
  20. lomfs24


    Apr 19, 2003
    I know a guy here in Montana that is close to my dad's age or a little older. He told us that when near elk country you are never without your gun and it is always loaded. For seven or eight years in a row he would get up and head out of the tent for his morning constitutional and would end up shooting his elk.

    f1b32oPTic, your avatar reminds me of a guy that I never had the pleasure to meet. But about 5 years ago there was a guy arrested here in Montana that was an out-of-state hunter that shot his "doe" deer, put his B tag on it and thought he had done a great thing until the Game Warden showed up at the meat shop to arrest him for shooting the neighbors Llama. ;f

    Last but not least. My friend and I headed into the forest for a quick afternoon bowhunt for elk. We always walk down this old logging road about 2 miles and then would stop on this point where the road did a switch back to bugle and locate the elk and then move in that direction. After you bugle it can be as long as 5 minutes before a bull will respond so my friend and I were just sitting there listening. We heard this 4-wheeler (grrr....) coming down the road. Since I don't like road hunters I though we should have some fun with this guy. My friend and I spit up and took a different side of the road. As he passed I could see his bow strapped securely onto the handlebars. (What was this guy thinking? He would get lucky and find a blind deaf elk that couldn't smell and it would stand there for him to get his bow out and shoot?) Oooops, anyway. Just as he passed I let out the best longest bugle you have ever heard. It sounded better than most tapes. This guy slid his 4-wheeler to a stop and started scrambling for his bow. My friend and I both stepped out laughing. And I asked him what he thought he was going to see, A monster bull elk bugling 10 yards from the road that you just drove by? He said "You never know. I thought I better stop and look" We both just walked off laughing. It ruined out hunt but it was worth it to see this guy scrambling for his bow.