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"Hickbonics"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Nov 30, 2006.


  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1
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    "Hickbonics"

    HICKBONICS The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue
    some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through
    Washington designating Southern slang, or Hickbonics," as a language to
    be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be
    a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English
    dictionary:


    HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.


    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.

    Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"


    BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

    Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."


    JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.

    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."


    BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.

    Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
    improvements."


    MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.

    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd
    from him in munts."


    THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.

    Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


    BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.

    Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


    IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."

    Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"


    RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.

    Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my
    brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."



    ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.

    Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."


    FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.

    Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
    truck, that thing's gonna catch far."


    TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.

    Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat
    tarin my pickup truck."


    TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.

    Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see
    that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."


    RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.

    Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."


    FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
    combat.

    Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."



    RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.

    Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."


    FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.

    Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
    country."



    DID - (adjective) - Not alive.

    Usage: "He's did, Jim."


    EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.

    Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"


    BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.

    Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


    JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.

    Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob
    war fence cump'ny?"


    HAZE - a contraction.

    Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
    minnit'n 'is laf."


    SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".


    VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.

    Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"


    GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.

    Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

    :supergrin:
     
  2. Flinter

    Flinter
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    Hornady Fan

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    I dun did unnerstan ever werd you jes rit.
     

  3. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1
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    I tped it reel slooooow jus fer u's.


    :animlol:
     
  4. Rebel_James

    Rebel_James
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    :laughabove:

    I understood every word, but have a correction ...

    It ain't all that goes in a truck .... it's erl.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. shu

    shu
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    Location:
    pharr, tx
    Or, as heard in west central texas,

    "That's a owl on that owl well, owl rat."