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"Hickbonics"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Nov 30, 2006.

  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

    24,190
    2,569
    May 24, 2000
    Beaumont,Texas
    "Hickbonics"

    HICKBONICS The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue
    some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through
    Washington designating Southern slang, or Hickbonics," as a language to
    be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be
    a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English
    dictionary:


    HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.


    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.

    Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"


    BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

    Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."


    JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.

    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."


    BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.

    Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
    improvements."


    MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.

    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd
    from him in munts."


    THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.

    Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


    BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.

    Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


    IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."

    Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"


    RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.

    Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my
    brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."



    ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.

    Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."


    FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.

    Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
    truck, that thing's gonna catch far."


    TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.

    Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat
    tarin my pickup truck."


    TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.

    Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see
    that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."


    RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.

    Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."


    FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
    combat.

    Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."



    RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.

    Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."


    FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.

    Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
    country."



    DID - (adjective) - Not alive.

    Usage: "He's did, Jim."


    EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.

    Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"


    BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.

    Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


    JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.

    Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob
    war fence cump'ny?"


    HAZE - a contraction.

    Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
    minnit'n 'is laf."


    SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".


    VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.

    Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"


    GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.

    Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

    :supergrin:
     
  2. Flinter

    Flinter Hornady Fan

    268
    0
    Oct 31, 2006
    Home, Sweet Home
    I dun did unnerstan ever werd you jes rit.
     


  3. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

    24,190
    2,569
    May 24, 2000
    Beaumont,Texas
    I tped it reel slooooow jus fer u's.


    :animlol:
     
  4. :laughabove:

    I understood every word, but have a correction ...

    It ain't all that goes in a truck .... it's erl.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. shu

    shu Millennium Member

    78
    0
    Dec 10, 1999
    pharr, tx
    Or, as heard in west central texas,

    "That's a owl on that owl well, owl rat."