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Have you got any stories about Marines doing stupid/funny things?

Discussion in 'The US Marine Corps Forum' started by kevdog91, May 28, 2007.

  1. kevdog91


    Dec 31, 2005
    Here is one of mine.
    I was at Pendelton, when a Lcpl(reservest) rented a car, went to do some sightseeing, and was arrested for a dui. He was not supposed to leave the base. The funny thing was that not only did he get a dui, he was picked up by local police with what he thought was a female hooker. He was to drunk to notice that the female was a male.
    We saw him briefly that night, enough for him to gather his gear, and he was pretty tore up about it. Of course he denied the male part of the story. We never saw him again.

    who's got a better story to tell?
  2. corpdriller


    Feb 10, 2005
    DFW TX
    Many, many moons ago at Yuma for WTI: At WTI you see all of the services and their AC. We had some Army dogs on our line with 2 H-60's. They thought they would get a laugh and paint a "FOR SALE" sign on a 46. It washed right off, no harm, no foul. Some dumbass reservist goes to get even using bright dayglo orange paint on the bottom of those 60's with his own "FOR SALE" sign. Goes a little overboard and it practically covers the bottom of the bird. Next day NIS comes around asking if anyone knows who did it. To his credit, the guy owns up to it even though no-one knows he did it. Turns out that these birds had an experimental low IR paint job on them costing a HUGE amount of $. Dumbass reservist goes away in handcuffs never to be seen again. Stupid but not very funny.

    Another WTI incident: A Sgt in flight line is being a PITA. Always showing up when he wanted, doing what he wanted, getting on everyone's butt. His workers had enough. He comes diddy-bopping back to his shop after a 2 hour lunch and his boys grab him. they duct-tape him up and pull down his drawers. They then apply a grease gun to his bottom opening and pack him full. Then they used a broomstick on the same opening. They all think it's funny and then let the Sgt go. About 30 min later all hell breaks loose. About 50 MP's and the whole NIS office shows up. Needless to say, all those boys went away in cuffs. Again, very stupid not very funny.


  3. 2952


    Aug 31, 2006
    On the beach
    had a guy in our company go into O'Side and ask to test drive a car off the lot. They let him and he never brought it back. Kept it for about 6 months.

    One day out driving around he went past the dealer he stole the car from and saw one he liked better. Parked the old one in front and went inside to talk about test driving the newer one. They recognized the stolen car and kept him busy until O'Side PD showed up. O'Side called the MP's.

    He spent 6 mos in the Camp Pendelton Brig. This was when the MP's still walked the streets and the Cops turned all wayward Marines over to the MP's

    Was in O'Side a while back and miss them walking in two's in Class A's with their white helmets, red arm bands, white leather pistol belts/holsters/mag carriers, Govt .45, whistle and wooden night sticks.

    They didn't need no stinking badges then either.

    Semper Fi
  4. inkslut

    inkslut NRA Member

    Apr 4, 2006
    San Antonio
    yeah, file this under "stupid"; my brother in law just got out of the Marine Corps after more than 9 years.:upeyes:
  5. Kingslayer

    Kingslayer My New Title

    Jan 20, 2006
    Port Charlotte, Florida
    We had a kid in our platoon who couldn't do anything right. He was clumsy, dumb, couldn't shoot, couldn't swim, and was a complete s#!t bird.

    Well not being able to swim and shoot was kind of a detriment in Amphibious Assualt. He was up for LCpl, 2nd award, after 5 years time in service. The Lt. figured that I was able to teach him to swim (I was WSQ) and that I was already 4th award Expert, that I could teach him to shoot too.

    This kid was rarely able to qualify and it usually took some pen gouging down in the butts just to get him qualed. So the Lt. let me start on him a week early. We spent the entire week out behind the enlisted club at Courthouse Bay infront of a white 55 gal drum practicing his sitting, kneeling, standing, trigger control, breating, all that jazz.

    The kid was just doing everything wrong. Everything. His technique was just bass-ackwards, he was forcing the rifle on target instead of aligning his body on target. He was jerking the trigger. He wasn't breathing right. But after 2 weeks (our 1 week headstart and the week the platoon took to practice) I got him unscrewed.

    We get to the range and he's doing lousy. On Monday and Tuesday he isn't even in the neighborhood of qualifying. Wednesday he's going to qual and that morning I sit him down and talk to him. Remind him of what he's supposed to do. Calm him down. The Lt. calls a formation and wishes us all luck and promises half a day liberty on Friday to whomever shoots the highest. We all grab our rifles and head to the ammo table.

    Well, my little s#!tbird is doing pretty good. In fact, when we get back to the 300 yard line he's 5 points ahead of me and I'm usually the high shooter in the platoon! We get back to the 500 yard line and not only does he already have enough to qualify, he's going to qualify expert for the first time in his enlistment. I'm talking to the Lt. who's come over to watch. I'm feeling pretty good about what I've accomplished. The Lt. is patting me on the back and he's all smiles. Just then my s#!tbird gets a jam and starts clearing it. He wipes his hand across the mag well and has a stupid look on his face. One I've seen a million times....

    "Sgt. Wills! This isn't my rifle!"
  6. Desert Doc

    Desert Doc

    Mar 27, 2008
    Where do I start? Having spent the majority of my 20+ years as a Corpsman of Marines I have seen some serious stupid stuff that you Jarheads (respectfully) have pulled and that I usually ended up having to put back together afterward.

    I was deployed to Iwakuni, Japan with a VMFP-3 squadron back in '78. I'm out in the vill having a beer minding my own business in a little bar. Over the course of about 30-45 minutes about a dozen of my Marines show up and start taking over tables in the back of the bar. I was just about to finish a conversation I was having and the beer I was working on when an Marine from another squadron decided that he didn't like Doc's drinking beer in "his" bar. So after about three drunken attempts to try and sit on the bar stool next to me and elbowing my beer three times I ask him if he has a problem. He starts to say something stupid about Doc's in general and my ancestry specifically. That's when I hit him with my beer mug and cleared him off the bar stool. Of course about a half dozen of his shipmates in the front of the bar stand up and figure they are going to take on the Doc that just knocked their buddy on his backside.

    Well you know what happened next.

    I'm just about to start swinging when one of my HUGE Sergeants grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me behind him just as he takes one on the jaw, grins at me then at the guy that hit him and laid that dude out with a backhand! I'm trying to get back into the fight that....well I guess I started, but every time I'd try to push and pull myself forward into the fray another one of my Marines would pull me to the rear and cut in front of me. In short order I'm stuck back behind a dozen of my Marines having fun as they work their way to the door mopping the deck with members of the other squadron and anyone else that is unlucky enough to get in their way.

    In short order it was over and everyone was sitting back at the tables in the back of that same bar, me included and I'm pissed. :dunno:I only got to smack one dude. My Marines tell me to shut the F up and drink my beer, that had just arrived. "Your job is to fix us not fight with us! SHUT UP and drink your beer Doc!" To which everyone just had a roaring laugh at. :rofl:They were a great bunch of Marines.....:usmc: Semper FI!