1. A game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. 2. A game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind. 3. A colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and financially in the red. 4. A game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws) because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral effort. 5. A game a lot like taxation - you drive hard to get to the green, and then you find yourself in a hole. GOLF CART, n. 1. A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can neither count, criticize, nor snicker. GOLFER, n. 1. A person who yells "fore," takes six, and puts down five; 2. A guy who has the advantage over a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.