***WORLD EXCLUSIVE REPORT***
(AP) Austria - Gaston Glock today made a bold step in regards to the future of his company, GLOCK Gmbh(tm).
On the heels of learning that more people are killed by hammers each year than by firearms, Glock announced that his company will begin producing the G1000 Tactical Hammer(pat. pending).
"This is very much good news for the advancing state of warfare. From now on, the G1000 Tactical Hammer will be the weapon of choice for specialized militaries all over the world. If you'll excuse me now, I have a 20 year old to go fondle." said Gaston Glock.
Reaction from random people on the street was mixed.
"I don't think it's a good idea." said one fan, who asked to be referred to as only "bac". "The modern hammer was refined to the state we now know in the year 1911, and as we all know, anything that was designed after 1911 is just a waste of time." When asked to expand on his comments, bac would only state, "Look, I have to get some new carpet right now, it's time to kick 2013 off with a change."
Another person, who wished to be identified as "GodCarriesAGLOCK" was thrilled. "This is clearly going to be the most incredible hammer of all time. Other hammer manufacturers should just stop making their hammers. There is a specialized polygonal head on the GLOCK G1000 Tactical Hammer that will make it hit with a harder velocity than any other hammer on Earth, and probably any other hammer in the universe, if we're being honest."
When asked his opinions of initial reports that the G1000 Tactical Hammer would sometimes snap at the head and send parts of the hammer flying back into the user's face, GodCarriesAGLOCK offered, "That's clearly anti-GLOCK lying, if I'm being honest. Nothing branded GLOCK has ever broken. The very first G17 that was made is still around, and from what I hear it's fired 756,000,000 rounds of submachine gun ammunition, half of those underwater, and it's never even been field stripped.
Glock claims that his G1000 Tactical Hammer will have a use life of ten quadrillion nails driven, or three self defense applications, whichever occurs first.