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George Carlin Ponderables...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by kend, May 19, 2002.

  1. kend


    May 22, 2000
    Why do they put a suicide watch on certain death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man your planning to kill, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently just to piss him off.
  2. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

    Jan 31, 1999
    I'm with George. If they want to save the taxpayers some $$$ and remove themselves from the gene pool, more power to them. Here's some rope. Have fun.

  3. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

    Dec 16, 1999
    I loved the one where they did major dental work on guy less then 2 weeks before his big day. If they want to die give them the option to donate their organs anythime they want.
  4. AC37

    AC37 SystemicAnomaly

    Dec 12, 2000
    Provo, UT
    Your taxpayer dollars hard at work!

    I wonder if we could start a commercial about this. :cool:
  5. Dogman

    Dogman Getting Senior

    May 6, 2000
    No, but you could start a political campaign.
  6. WolfmanGK

    WolfmanGK Super Plump

    Oct 7, 2000
    Northern Dakota
    George Carlin thinks gun owners have no reproductive organs. I suggest you post his drivel with caution.
  7. Dogman

    Dogman Getting Senior

    May 6, 2000
    Life is drivel. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

    Lighten up, the guy's been funny for over 30 years !
  8. Zeker


    Oct 18, 2001
    Northern Va
    Life Reflections by George Carlin

    1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
    2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
    3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
    4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
    5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
    6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
    7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
    8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
    9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
    10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
    11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
    12. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
    13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
    14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
    15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.