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Ganito Magbigay ng Masamang Balita

Discussion in 'Band of Glockers' started by Alexii, Dec 4, 2005.

  1. Alexii

    Alexii Janeway Forever

    1,069
    0
    Nov 14, 2001
    Delta Quadrant
    Ganito magbigay ng masamang balita
    SAPOL Ni Jarius Bondoc
    Ang Pilipino STAR Ngayon

    KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....

    "Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."

    "O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?

    "Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."

    "'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?

    "Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."

    "Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon. Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"

    "E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."

    "Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"

    "W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."

    "Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"

    "E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."

    "Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"

    "'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."

    "Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"

    "'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."

    "Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan 'yung kandila?"

    "Para sa burol po."

    "Ano? Kaninong burol?

    "Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."
     
  2. scowan007

    scowan007 memberrific!!!

    694
    0
    Jun 17, 2002
    45.8 N, 108.5 W

  3. nrmcolt

    nrmcolt What?

    519
    0
    Sep 26, 2004
    Raccoon City
  4. casmot

    casmot Re membered

    ;z ;z ;z

    but seriously... ;L may magrerekalmo na naman o di kaya gagawin issue ito. (someone will complain or make an issue out of this).

    but then again... ;z ;z ;z
     
  5. horge

    horge -=-=-=-=- Lifetime Member

    3,045
    19
    Jan 22, 2004
    almost home
    English Translation

    This is how to bring bad tidings:
    "Sapol" by Jarius Bondoc
    Pilipino Star Ngayon


    The phone rang one dawn.

    "Hello, Mr. Carlos? This is Arnaldo, sir. The caretaker at your vacation house."

    "Oh, it's you Arnaldo. What moved you to call? Is there a problem?"

    "Umm, I called to advise you that your pet parrot died."

    "My parrot 'Pikoy'? The one that won at the bird show?"

    "Yes, Master Carlos, that very one, sir."

    "Damn... what a pity! I'd spent so much on that bird.
    Sigh! Hold on, what caused its death?"

    "Well, sir, it ingested rotten meat"

    "Rotten meat? And what worthless person fed it rotten meat?"

    "No-no one sir. It just partook of the flesh of a dead horse"

    "A dead horse? What dead horse, Mr. Arnaldo?"

    "Well, those thoroughbred horses of yours, sir. They died
    of exhaustion from pulling a water wagon"

    "Are you out of your mind? What water wagonnnn?"

    "The one used to put out the fire, sir."

    "My God! What fire are you talking about?"

    "The one that practically razed your house, sir... A candle had toppled over,
    setting the curtains ablaze, and the fire just spread..."

    "Whaat? Son of a...
    Hold it, we have electricity at the vacation house, so what was that lit candle for?"

    "For the wake, sir"

    "What? What wake?"

    "Your mother's, sir. She showed up suddenly one night without calling first,
    past midnight. I thought she was a thief, sir. I shot her."


    -h.
    (it reads so much better in Pilipino, though... ;f)
     
  6. Eye Cutter

    Eye Cutter Moderator

    8,193
    1
    Nov 21, 2002
    Dr. B. Eye
    hahaha! good one! nahilo ako kaka-decipher!

    ;e
     
  7. toxic

    toxic

    1,491
    0
    Jan 15, 2005
    doin' time
    Englisi..Englisi;f..Thats a good one.
     
  8. doctabako

    doctabako Gun Aficionado

    1,164
    0
    Aug 11, 2003
    Philippines
  9. i_am_infinity

    i_am_infinity Pang Altar

    1,688
    0
    Jun 20, 2005
    To Infinity and Beyond
    ang galing ng translation ng NIYO...COCONUT!!! hahahaha ~fnt~
     
  10. vega

    vega

    2,799
    0
    Sep 29, 2001
    SoCal
    LOL
    ;a ;a ;a
    vega