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Funny stuff you've heard in public

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by GoGators, Jul 26, 2002.

  1. GoGators

    GoGators Stomatologist

    Jan 25, 2001
    Louisville, KY
    Have you ever almost died laughing because of something that somebody you don't know said?

    Today I was thinking of the time I went to see "The Blair Witch Project". You know that pause between the end of the movie and the start of the credits? During that short, quiet time, some guy screamed, "I WANT MY MONEY BACK, THAT MOVIE WAS STUPID AS HELL!". I thought I was going to wet myself.
  2. Originalsin


    Dec 1, 2000
    Really? I prefer Platinum Taq.

  3. My very first weekend at college, I was walking across the quad when I heard an obviously inebriated female student go "Like, I just don't understand it... when I curl my hair, it gets shorter."


    Mar 18, 2002
    Two men trying their best to pick up some young ladies left me gasping for air as I overheard one of the fellas play-up his buddy with a twist! One drunk guy says about his friend,"my buddy here is smart, handsome, rich and hung like a field mouse!"


    Mar 18, 2002
    Two men trying their best to pick up some young ladies left me gasping for air as I overheard one of the fellas play-up his buddy with a twist! One drunk guy says about his friend,"my buddy here is smart, handsome, rich and hung like a field mouse!"
  6. srhoades


    Jul 14, 2000
    I was at a BBQ place at there where examples of cow brands on the walls. Some drunk guy tells his buddy, "look, cowboy hieroglyphics"
  7. mark123

    mark123 Jesus Loves You

    Feb 7, 2002
    New Castle
    Are you saying it wasn't a stupid movie or it was funny that someone pointed out in public how awful it actually was.
  8. carbon_15

    carbon_15 1*

    Jan 10, 2002
    South Carolina
    I was at the local High-end audio store earlier this year looking at speakers. A very snoby salesman stroles up and starts showing off the new Bang & Olufsen BeolAB 6000'S. I replied, "well they sure do look snazy, but they sound like crap and I couldn't fit them in my Mustang even if I did want them" Suddenly he goes into a fit akin to the 7-min. abs guy from Theres Something About Mary. Stamering and trying to quell his dismay he finaly mutters "WHAT, you can't put those in a car".
    I was laughing so hard I could barely walk to the door. I'm pretty sure he thought I was the dumbest person he had ever met..untill he figured out what I ment.

    guess you had to be there:)
  9. gregbullet


    Feb 15, 2002
    Tallahassee Fl
    Zook really was our first choice.
  10. Wolf Bait

    Wolf Bait Episodic

    Feb 20, 2002
    Sometime in May I was sitting in my parked car in front of the local grocery store, waiting for my wife to buy something. It was quite busy, and an old beat-up pickup pulled in a couple spaces away. One rough looking mullet-head climbs out and is about halfway to the entrance of the store, when the driver loudly yells to him from the pickup: "HEY, DON'T FORGET THE BUTT WIPER!" At least a dozen or so men, women, children stopped to look at the guy. I cracked up.
  11. Ender

    Ender ComfortablyNumb

    May 20, 2001
    2 friends of mine were on the way to the donut shop after a night of drinking. tony's mom calls him and *****es about him being out so late, blah blah blah blah.

    his response before hanging up???

    "WANNA DONUT???"
  12. reptiman

    reptiman Go Ducks

    Apr 13, 2001
    Springfield, Oregon
    I was in a restaurant a few months ago when I heard a guy complain to his lady companion that "these mushrooms taste like fungus!"

    I almost wet myself.
  13. 40loader

    40loader IPSC Shooter

    Mar 23, 2002
    Upstate, NY
    My nephew once told my sister he wanted to join the Marines because he was tired of being told what to do. I can't even write this with a straight face!
  14. getdown_glocker


    Dec 28, 2000
    NC, USA
    I like that one. ;f
  15. PT-145

    PT-145 Owned by JRT's

    The local Ryan's steakhouse lets groups use their restaurant for groups and clubs to meet in over dinner,and the cashiers always ask if you are "with the group". One thursday night this summer I heard the young (18?) cashier say to the other cashier, "By the name of the group, I thought they would be younger."

    The Sons of Confederate Veterans were there that night.
  16. eisman

    eisman ARGH! CLM

    Jul 28, 2002
    Moving Target
    I live in Napa, and wine is a way of life here. (So is liberal whinng, but that's another story).

    At a fairly new Center for Appreciation of Wine, Food, and the Arts a young lady caused pandimonium when (during a wine tasting) she loudly told her companion, "I never spit, I always swallow!".

    Much choking and backslapping followed that announcement.
  17. go_ustp

    go_ustp Millennium Member

    Jul 11, 1999
    home sweet home
    My wife and I were shopping for bedroom furniture after ours had been damaged in a flood. We had decided to only buy solid wood (oak) furniture.

    We went to several high-end furniture stores in the area and saw beautiful furniture, although it was all made from some type of particle or fiber board.

    As I checked one bedroom set and noted that it was made of particle board, the salesperson told me that their particle board is made from chips from the finest hardwoods.

    I was speechless but managed to just smile and nod my head, amazed that she would feed me an obvious line of doo-doo. The wife and I went out and got back on the turnip truck..... and bought solid oak from a reputable dealer.
  18. Alpine


    Dec 21, 2000
    On elderly gentleman (old enough to know better) to a friend, upon seeing a raccoon in the parking lot: "Is a raccoon a cat or a dog?" I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
  19. Deathwind


    Aug 13, 2002
    In my pants
    GoGators' movie experience reminded me of quite a few I've had:
    -When I went and saw Jurassic Park 1 in theaters, somebody *loudly* started belting out "SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN WITH DINAH! SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN I KNO-O-O-OW! SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN WITH DINAHHH!" etc. during the scene with the raptors and the kids in the kitchen.
    -When I saw Star Wars Episode 2 in theaters, somebody shouted "COCKBLOCKED!" right after Anakin gets turned away from kissing Padme.
    -Not really a saying, more of an action, but when I saw The Majestic somebody in our row fell all the way down the (rather long) stairs in the theater in the middle of the movie. The whole audience was laughing their asses off. Don't worry, he leapt up when he hit the end and was laughing too ;f
    Unrelated to movies:
    -My friends and I spent over an hour and a half waiting to get into a restaurant, when we had been told there was a 45 minute wait. We were sitting near enough to the "greeter" that we could hear him tell everyone their expected wait, and we theorized that he just told *everyone* 45 minutes. "Two people? 45 minutes. Ten people? 45 minutes. Thirty people? 45 minutes." Right as we were discussing this a group of around eight came up and asked how long the wait would be. When he said 45 minutes we all about died laughing. Guess you had to be there ;)