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For all you Lexiophiles out there...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by scooterbear, Sep 9, 2003.

  1. scooterbear

    scooterbear

    Joined:
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    Summit, MS
    For all you Lexiophiles out there...

    1. A bicycle can't stand-alone because it is two-tired.
    2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
    3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    4. A backward poet writes inverse.
    5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.
    6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
    7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
    9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
    10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
    11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
    12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
    14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
    16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
    18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
    19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    20. He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
    21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
    22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
    24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
    25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
    26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
    27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
    28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
    30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.