Did you hear about the Trojan and Pillsbury Merger? They want to create a self-rising condom. He said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" She said, "That's a great idea! You stand by the ironing board while I lay on the sofa and emit foul odors." A couple is lying nude in bed. The man says, as he moves closer. "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you." Q: What does a woman do to her a****** before having sex? A: She drops him off at the golf course. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal at the Olympics? A: She had it bronzed. And now for a true story... The tags placed on migratory birds by the Washington Biological Survey used to read "Wash. Biol. Surv.", until they received a letter from an Arkansas camper stating; "I shot down one of your birds the other day. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions - it tasted horrible!". The tags now read "Fish And Wildlife Association".