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Famous Last Words

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, May 14, 2002.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

    Sep 10, 2001
    Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...

    Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.

    What happens if you touch these two wires tog--

    We won't need reservations.

    It's always sunny there this time of the year.

    Don't worry, it's not loaded.

    They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.

    You can make it easy... that train isn't coming fast.

    Gimmee a match. I think my gas tank is empty.

    Let's see if it's loaded.

    Just watch me dive from that bridge.

    If you knew anything, you wouldn't be a traffic cop.

    Last but not least...

    "Hey, You'all watch THIS.........!"
  2. Geldor1

    Geldor1 Nunya

    Jun 12, 2000
    Gulf Coast, Florida
    What's this switch do???

    Watch what happens when I pull this thing...

  3. Guest

    You forgot the most commonly used famous last words.

    "Hey y'all! Watch this!!"
  4. MrMurphy

    MrMurphy ********* Moderator Moderator Millennium Member Lifetime Member

    Jan 16, 2001
    Buried in the X-files
    Of course, the fighter pilot's last words, regardless of language or race, in either combat or accident.......

    "Oh, &*%^!"

    (Well proven in actual records..... I know a guy who used to do air traffic control, and he heard that several times in the U.S, Japan, Italy and Germany for the Air Force,all in their respective languages as well as English, the international language of aviation)
  5. oldjad01


    Aug 14, 2001
    Custer 'Oh hell they will just retreat when we charge'.
    Kennedy 'looks like a nice day for a parade'.
    Lincoln 'I don't feel too good, but I wouldn't miss the play for the life of me.'
    McKinley "when we arrive at the staion I want to shake hands until I drop'
    Josephine 'so I made a few mistakes, you don't need to snap my head off'.
    Masimoto (a liitle known Japanese pilot in WWII on his first flight in action) 'Do you usually bolt on the canopy on these Zeros?'
    Last official at Krakatoa 'I feel terrible that we could not locate a virgin for this mornings ceremony, ah well we can always make up for it tomorrow.'
    German comander, one nice fall day on the Eastern front in WWII 'Looks like we have another month or two to end this thing before winter sets in'.
    Sick, sick, sick.........
  6. Dogman

    Dogman Getting Senior

    May 6, 2000
    "Aww Honey, you don't look THAT chunky..."
  7. General George Armstrong Custer at Little Big Horn: "Take no prisoners!!".
  8. Cyoung

    Cyoung Glockite

    Jun 13, 2001
    Gainesville, FL, USA
    "No, the pants do make your butt look big. Your big butt makes your butt look big."

    "Hand me the dremel tool...."
  9. WayneH


    Mar 7, 2002
    St Pete, FL
    Hand me that lighter fluid, will ya?

    It's o.k.- I saw it on T.V. once.

    Trust me.

    Is this thing running?

    Just a couple of beers, officer.
  10. Guest

    Tarzan-"The VINE JANE... THE VINEEEEeeeeeee...............
  11. Dogman

    Dogman Getting Senior

    May 6, 2000
  12. Guest

    You can't kill me! I've got a magic Araaggh...!
  13. HankB


    Dec 17, 2001
    Central Texas.
    Some paraphrasing here . . .

    "The patent office should be closed, as everything that can be invented has been invented." (Patent examiner)

    "The atom bomb will never work, and I speak as an expert on explosives." (Army ordnance expert)

    "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." (Inspector Sledge Hammer)

    "Who greased the vine?" (Tarzan)

    "Well, Tonto, we're surrounded - we won't escape with our lives!" (Lone Ranger, surrounded by 5000 hostile Indians.)

    "What you mean we, paleface?" (Tonto)
  14. BobRicks


    Feb 19, 2001
    NE Texas
    Actually, Gen. Custer's last words were "Where did all those f*&^ing Indians come from?"
  15. shu

    shu Millennium Member

    Dec 10, 1999
    pharr, tx
    "They can't hit an elephant at that distance."
    were the last words attributed to the well beloved
    general john sedgwick. at cold harbor, i believe, in grant's spring push of 1864.
  16. kentley


    Apr 2, 2002
    LEO: Son, your eyes are red, have you been drinking?
    ME: Officer, your eyes are glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
  17. Geldor1

    Geldor1 Nunya

    Jun 12, 2000
    Gulf Coast, Florida
    Well, I've been waiting to see how long it took and no one uttered the most famous last words...

    I DO