close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Euro-Englisch

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ChuteTheMall, Mar 24, 2005.

  1. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
    will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the
    other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's UK
    Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
    and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as
    "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
    this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
    favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
    1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
    when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
    make words like fotograf" 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to
    reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
    will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
    deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of
    the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
    with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing
    "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
    leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
    be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand
    ech ozer.

    Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!
     
  2. KOOL!


    Now I no my speling ov ze English language will improv greatly, vit out much work en my end!

    I new ze wood konform to se zings my way. I was rite al along.
     

  3. gr81disp

    gr81disp Bushbot v1.0

    474
    0
    Sep 19, 2004
    Marietta, GA
    There was one I saw written in the eighties that made it look like russian.
     
  4. Cancri

    Cancri

    48
    0
    Nov 13, 2003
    Prague, Czech
    ^<wg Yes, here in Europe we're really looking forward to the changes! :cool: