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Engineer's Terminology Translations

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by MooseJaw, Feb 13, 2003.

  1. MooseJaw

    MooseJaw NRA Lifer Silver Member CLM

    8,654
    558
    Feb 12, 2002
    AridZona
    Top 20 - Humor: Engineer's Terminology Translations
    >
    >
    > 1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
    > - We are still pissing in the wind.
    >
    > 2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
    > - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
    >
    > 3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
    > - We know who to blame.
    >
    > 4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
    > - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
    >
    > 5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
    > - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it
    > delivered.
    >
    > 6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
    > - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
    >
    > 7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
    > - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
    >
    > 8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
    > - The only person who understood the thing quit.
    >
    > 9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
    > - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
    >
    > 10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
    > - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
    >
    > 11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
    > - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.
    >
    > 12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
    > - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere
    > with what we've already done.
    >
    > 13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
    > - I can't wait to hear this bull!
    >
    > 14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
    > - Come into my office, I'm lonely.
    >
    > 15. ALL NEW
    > - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
    >
    > 16. RUGGED
    > - Too damn heavy to lift!
    >
    > 17. LIGHTWEIGHT
    > - Lighter than RUGGED.
    >
    > 18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
    > - One finally worked.
    >
    > 19. ENERGY SAVING
    > - Achieved when the power switch is off.
    >
    > 20. LOW MAINTENANCE
    > - Impossible to fix if broken.