Why Dogs Are Better Than Women - Part II When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs like beer. Dogs don't hate their bodies. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs never expect gifts. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. Dogs don't worry about germs. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. Dogs don't borrow your shirts. Dogs never want foot-rubs. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. Dogs can't talk. Dogs aren't catty. Dogs seldom outlive you.