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discovery of heaviest element

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Apr 9, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    Aug 20, 2002
    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
    heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been
    tentatively named Governmentium.

    Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
    224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
    governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as
    it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount
    of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it
    would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life
    of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in
    which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange
    places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,
    since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming
    isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
    speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
    quantity in concentration.

    This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
  2. Ronny

    Ronny Good Guy

    Dec 28, 2001
    NE Ohio
    I thought it was going to say republican brains. I heard the army was going to use it to replace depleted uranium armour, as it is far denser, but they couldn't locate a sufficient quantity!

  3. David_G17

    David_G17 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

    Oct 7, 2002
    no, it was a more intelligent joke.
  4. Dalt

    Dalt Millennium Member

    Apr 3, 1999
    Hudson WI, USA
    I was going make a joke about democrat brains, but just putting the two words together is funny enough. I think that would qualify as an oxymoron.