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Definition of "Secure the Building"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by YosemiteSam357, Jun 4, 2002.

  1. YosemiteSam357

    YosemiteSam357 Revolver Zen

    Apr 8, 2002
    Northwest of Yosemite
    The recent "balance" thread reminded me of this one:

    The definition of "Secure the Building" as used by the various branches of our Armed Forces:

    Army: Lock the door, ensure there are no enemies at the perimeter.
    Navy: Put a chain on the door and post an SP as sentry.
    Marines: Destroy the building, and anything alive within a 100 yard perimeter.
    Air Force: Obtain a year lease with an option to buy.

    -- Sam
  2. You forgot one:

    Coast Guard: Lash the building to the ground using two miles of line and at least one heavy-duty chain. Both items will have a technical name that you must use instead of "line" and "chain". If you call these items by their improper name, a boat will sink.

    PS - If you call one of their ships a "boat", it will sink immediately.

  3. MrMunster


    Nov 4, 2001
    And that is why they have to be at least 6' tall -- so they can keep their heads above water while they walk to shore.....;a
  4. master tigon

    master tigon to deep for you

    May 21, 2002
    back in CT.shoot me!
    ATF=burn the buliding and blame it on the tenants

    FBI=shoot the buliding and claim it attacked.
  5. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

    Jan 31, 1999
    You guys bust me up!!!
  6. Citori


    Apr 7, 2002
    Clintonian White House:

    Send the wife out of town.
  7. master tigon

    master tigon to deep for you

    May 21, 2002
    back in CT.shoot me!
    lets see if there are any more

    MMM= March around the house until it surrenders all weapons.
    AA= Get the house to acknowledge it has a problem
    NAMBLA= Surround building and claim it's your first amendment right to have children in there.

    Jesse Ventura= Claim all unprotected houses are a crutch and are for the weak.

    Terrorists= House? Those are for living, I thought you blew them up?

    Peace Corps= Accidentally shoot all those who are with you and claim the operation was a complete success.

    okay, now I'm done.