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Definition of "Secure the Building"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by YosemiteSam357, Jun 4, 2002.

  1. YosemiteSam357

    YosemiteSam357 Revolver Zen

    146
    0
    Apr 8, 2002
    Northwest of Yosemite
    The recent "balance" thread reminded me of this one:

    The definition of "Secure the Building" as used by the various branches of our Armed Forces:

    Army: Lock the door, ensure there are no enemies at the perimeter.
    Navy: Put a chain on the door and post an SP as sentry.
    Marines: Destroy the building, and anything alive within a 100 yard perimeter.
    Air Force: Obtain a year lease with an option to buy.

    -- Sam
     
  2. You forgot one:

    Coast Guard: Lash the building to the ground using two miles of line and at least one heavy-duty chain. Both items will have a technical name that you must use instead of "line" and "chain". If you call these items by their improper name, a boat will sink.

    PS - If you call one of their ships a "boat", it will sink immediately.
     


  3. MrMunster

    MrMunster

    503
    1
    Nov 4, 2001
    46062
    And that is why they have to be at least 6' tall -- so they can keep their heads above water while they walk to shore.....;a
     
  4. master tigon

    master tigon to deep for you

    346
    0
    May 21, 2002
    back in CT.shoot me!
    ATF=burn the buliding and blame it on the tenants

    FBI=shoot the buliding and claim it attacked.
     
  5. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

    7,059
    1
    Jan 31, 1999
    Montanuh
  6. Citori

    Citori

    12
    0
    Apr 7, 2002
    Clintonian White House:

    Send the wife out of town.
     
  7. master tigon

    master tigon to deep for you

    346
    0
    May 21, 2002
    back in CT.shoot me!
    lets see if there are any more

    MMM= March around the house until it surrenders all weapons.
    AA= Get the house to acknowledge it has a problem
    NAMBLA= Surround building and claim it's your first amendment right to have children in there.

    Jesse Ventura= Claim all unprotected houses are a crutch and are for the weak.

    Terrorists= House? Those are for living, I thought you blew them up?

    Peace Corps= Accidentally shoot all those who are with you and claim the operation was a complete success.

    okay, now I'm done.