close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Dear Abby, redux..

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by MooseJaw, Apr 24, 2003.


  1. MooseJaw

    MooseJaw
    Expand Collapse
    NRA Lifer
    CLM

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2002
    8,377
    373
    Location:
    AridZona
    Dear Abby:

    I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.

    My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City.

    I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.

    The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

    I have recently become engaged to marry a former Hong Kong prostitute who lives in the Bronx and is still a part time “working girl” in a brothel. Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully, their heroin habits.

    All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?

    Puzzled.
     
  2. pizzaaguy

    pizzaaguy
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    May 8, 2002
    1,807
    950
    Location:
    Central Florida
    Finally! Someone who is getting their priorities in order! ;f

    I really miss the tri-state area!;g (not)
     

Loading...
Similar Threads Forum Date
"Dear Abby" The Lighter Side Jan 20, 2011
Dear Abby The Lighter Side Sep 21, 2006
Dear Abby... The Lighter Side Nov 25, 2002
Dear Abby The Lighter Side Nov 1, 2002
Dear Abby The Lighter Side Aug 16, 2002
Duty Gear at CopsPlus