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Could you date a single mom? As a young guy?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Eurodriver, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    I don't normally mess with blonde chicks. Too much drama, they have attitudes, feel entitled, etc.

    But this girl is out of control. She's ridiculously good looking, has an amazing job, and is great to be around. But she's got a 4 year old.

    Dad's still around and has the kid half the week, and he's normal and isn't causing any problems or anything.

    But I just can't get over the fact that she has a kid. Its not like I'm trying to play dad, and she doesn't even want me to. But if things get serious, obviously thats something to consider.

    What are your thoughts?
     
  2. OctoberRust

    OctoberRust Anti-Federalist

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    Not sure if trolling or serious on your comments about blond girls. But ok.

    It's up to you really, none of us on here can tell you what's best for your life/dating preferences (regardless of the general GT consensus.)

    FWIW, an ex from last year I dated had 2 kids, one was autistic, they were a handful, but if you really like her it's worth it. It didn't end up working out between us, and I'm glad. Not because of the kids though, just because of who I found a few months after. :cool:
     

  3. Restless28

    Restless28

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    This should be another epic ED thread.
     
  4. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    Actually, I'm serious about blondes. Thats how the whole "Thailand" bit got started a few months ago (which I'm sure will come up shortly)

    I guess I should have asked specific questions. You make good points.

    I've met the kid. He's great. He really is cool and fun to be around and we get along fine.

    But how do you act around a kid thats not yours? You wanna be cool, but you don't want to step on his real dad's toes.
     
  5. Goaltender66

    Goaltender66 NRA GoldenEagle

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    :rofl:


    OP, I can and I have. If the kid is a dealbreaker for you, end it now. You can't get into a casual relationship fling situation when there's a kid involved (and yes, even if the mom is OK with it...you shouldn't enable her if that's the case.).

    If you are honestly OK with helping to raise this kid, and that's what's going to end up happening if you're getting serious with this woman, then go ahead.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  6. Andy W

    Andy W

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    Personally, I wouldn't. I don't want kids in my life though. I don't want to have a kid and I definitely don't want to help raise somebody else's. If you seriously want to date her, just realize the kid is gonna come in somewhere. She can say, "I'm not looking for a father for my child" but I've never seen it end up that way in real life.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  7. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    This is my main concern.

    I'm not sure how I feel about that. Obviously I'm not going to jump ahead and start thinking about 10 years down the road, but if you enter into a relationship I guess you have to?

    Ive just seen too many step-parents have no control over their step children.

    I.E. Kid is acting obnoxious, step dad says "Settle down, shutup, etc etc" and mom goes "Don't talk to my son like that"

    Can't deal with that. But he's only 4 right now and thats not an issue. What about when he's a teenager?
     
  8. OctoberRust

    OctoberRust Anti-Federalist

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    I've dated from blond to middle eastern, hispanic, asian, north african, etc. I think the only women I didn't date were straight up black women. Out of all those I dated, they all had their "quirks" and I didn't find the blondes to be anymore entitled or high maintenance than the rest of them.

    As for the dad, it is what it is. You'll have to grow on the kid, and the kid will have to grow on you. I guess I got lucky in that situation, and their dad wasn't around so I never had any of those "awkward" moments.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
     
  9. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    Andy, I hear what you're saying. I really do. I feel your words my man.


    ...but she is so hot. And she looks great on the back of my motorcycle. :supergrin:
     
  10. arclight610

    arclight610

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    She's all used up already
     
  11. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    Thanks for the insight, I appreciate it.

    I'm trying to absorb the good information before this thread turns into a "Just move to Thailand and date a child. Skip the mom" bashfest.
     
  12. Bilbo Bagins

    Bilbo Bagins Slacked jawed

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    If you don't like kids...simply don't date her.

    I like kids, even when I was a teenager. They are like puppies and kittens. How can you not like puppies and kittens. Sure they are a PITA to take care of , but someone who likes children, or animals will just deal with any cost or setback just to have one.

    Then there are people who don't like children, or animals. I don't blame them for being weird... its just you are who you are, not that there is anything wrong with it.

    If you don't like kids and you don't want to be serious with this lady, just don't bother. You are going to break some little kid's heart just to get some tail from mom. I'm also thinking some mom's have radar and not select you as a potential mate if you are not serious about a commitment with her kid.

    I don't know if that is the same for women in Thailand.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  13. TheExplorer

    TheExplorer

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    First things first, her kid will always be more important than you, naturally. Keeping that in mind, your relationship with him/her is important. For example, I have two best friends in the same situation. One kid is totally defiant and constantly causes strain on the marriage because she is so bad and the mother wont listen to him with suggestions on how to help raise her, and it will most likely end in divorce.

    The other friend gets along great with the kid and they go out for hot chocolate every Sunday. She knows it's not her dad, but there is a common respect for one another.
     
  14. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    For what its worth, I'm already mating with mom. And I've been around the kid a few times and I would say I'm good with him. No awkwardness, its all fun and we high five and have a good time.

    I'm just thinking long term here. I really don't mind being around the kid at all. Its that inevitable..."ok now my money is going to be spent on this child thats not even mine" mentality thats hard to wrap around.
     
  15. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    The first scenario is precisely why I made this thread. How old was the kid when he entered the picture?
     
  16. Restless28

    Restless28

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    Bingo! Let the games begin!
     
  17. Eurodriver

    Eurodriver

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    LOL I think you've been getting too much sun out on that boat of yours homie.
     
  18. TheExplorer

    TheExplorer

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    She was 12 I believe, but quickly got mixed up in the wrong crowd. The other friend's girl was 6. My gf's kids are all grown up, but sometimes we still argue about how I think they should act towards their mother.
     
  19. JEEPX

    JEEPX

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    No, I never dated a woman with a child. I do not like children, and did not feel like dealing with extra baggage.. ie.. her child/children, or the ex.

    16 years ago, I met a beautiful/ wonderful woman who felt/feels the same way I do about children.

    Could not be happier.

    Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2
     
  20. OctoberRust

    OctoberRust Anti-Federalist

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    Not too familiar with your threads, but it does seem restless likes to stir the pot up himself, and try to troll members on here.

    Meh.